Noon. Halloween. OTA country in Coos Bay. A black beer rests on my table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Magic Marker typos on the pumpkin. Bert signed his name, the last Bert in Oregon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Costume contest tonight. First prize: $150.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Joe Biden getup will win.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bartender wants to trespass a homeless woman, then kick her ass.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cremation and mortuary service ad on TV. We’re living a national mortuary service right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
SNAP and Head Start end at midnight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mike Johnson johnsons his johnson on Capitol Hill, a few yards away where tourists took a dump in his predecessor’s office, and Johnson called it patriotism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Trick or treat peasants! Let them eat gruel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Someone wrote \u201cHappy Colonoscopy\u201d on the pumpkin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Joe Biden winner will be wearing a colostomy bag as part of his costume. The bag will contain dog food.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kenny sold plasma today to drink a Rolling Rock.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Larry discusses the merits of various stool softeners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Marshall remembers getting laid at a Grateful Dead show.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What am I doing here?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Larry reminisces about runnin’ nekkid in the back yard as a kid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMomma locked us out,\u201d he said. \u201cI fertilized the yard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Damn good parenting!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bartender says her fucking kids are going to fucking walk when they fucking trick or treat tonight. She’s not driving them anywhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even better parenting!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Noon. Halloween. OTA country in Coos Bay. A black beer rests on my table. Magic Marker typos on the pumpkin. Bert signed his name, the last Bert in Oregon. Costume contest tonight. First prize: $150. The Joe Biden getup will win. The bartender wants to trespass a homeless woman, then kick her ass. Cremation and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9596,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,14,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11246","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-meditations","category-oregon-tavern-age","category-poetry","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11246","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11246"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11246\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11246"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11246"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11246"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}