{"id":11336,"date":"2026-07-29T06:56:35","date_gmt":"2026-07-29T13:56:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/?p=9960"},"modified":"2026-07-29T06:56:35","modified_gmt":"2026-07-29T13:56:35","slug":"ode-to-corduroy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/ode-to-corduroy\/","title":{"rendered":"Ode to Corduroy"},"content":{"rendered":"<!-- wp:themify-builder\/canvas \/-->\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Let me wear corduroy garments<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">or let me stride naked in public<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">or incarcerate me in Dockers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pants, blazers, shirts, cutoffs, coats<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">with no more than 6-wail,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">NEVER PLEATED PANTS!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Oh the glorious loose, comfortable nature<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">of this cozy clothing!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Let us remember the halcyon days of corduroy,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">the baby blue three-piece suit<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">with wide lapels, flared pants,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">advertised in <em>Playboy<\/em>,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">long, long gone<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">like gelatin desserts with suspended shrimp,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">topped with Cool Whip<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">or serve and volley on grass at Wimbledon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Praise be to my greatest corduroy garment,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">a tan car coat with suede pockets, flannel lining, leather buttons,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">stitched by communist women in Yugoslavia during the Cold War,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">while singing proletariat hymns,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">purchased 15 years ago,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">by a student at a thrift store for 99 cents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She claimed the coat was \u201cpure Mr. Love.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">From the moment I slipped it on, I agreed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I&#8217;ve probably walked 5000 miles along Oregon&#8217;s ocean beaches in this coat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I&#8217;d received compliments all over Oregon from old and young alike (mostly homeless people).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I will never forget wearing it in a Newport wine shop and a beautiful woman<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">wearing an eye patch,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">wielding a cane,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">came up,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">rested her left hand on my shoulder,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">looked the coat up and down,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">looked me in the eyes and said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cYou and that jacket really have it going on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Any woman doing yard work with me wearing corduroy cutoffs<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">won&#8217;t be doing yard work for very long.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Hail to Jimmy Carter,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">the only President to ever wear corduroy!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Look where we went after Reagan&#8217;s pinstripes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My father, a Church of Christ minister,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">used to preach in a green corduroy blazer with patches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It should have made me believe<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">because Jesus would have worn corduroy,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">he had a corduroy personality,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">unlike Peter and Paul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Oh those B Westerns where the good guys wore corduroy jackets with fringes!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The bad guys work buckskin,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">scraped hides from dead animals,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">and there your have it why the good guys always won.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rock on forever Three Dog Night<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">performing concerts wearing corduroy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Thank you Lauren Hutton for the gap in your teeth<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">and wearing a mauve corduroy pant suit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I must be the last golfer on Earth who plays rounds in corduroys!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">All my corduroys have grass stains in the knees,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">thus precisely demonstrating a superb way to live,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">gritty, going to the ground.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You don&#8217;t see grass stains in yoga pants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If I ever marry again,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I will wear a corduroy blazer,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">the color of burgundy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The holy grail was always white corduroy pants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One time I saw the treasure,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">so big they would have hung loose on Chester Arthur!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I once wrote a utopian short story<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">where every citizens of a kingdom wore corduroy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The nemesis of this kingdom made their slaves wear fleece and lycra.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One morning I decided it was time to euthanize the car coat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It was fraying, ripped, spent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I hung it on a driftwood fort<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">knowing the tide would wash it away<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">and a mermaid would transform it into a bikini.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I left the beach,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">sprinted back an hour later,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">rescued the coat,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">and a master seamstress brought forth resurrection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Corduroy is all but extirpated in Oregon Coast thrift stores,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">soon all of Oregon, the nation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then extinction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I&#8217;m down to three pairs of pants,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">threadbare wine, brown, green.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I keep searching in vain,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">but search nonetheless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I will never buy them online!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Have you seen the awful styles?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Zero percent cotton!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One-hundred percent petroleum product.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Corduroy blazers are all that remain of the corduroy empire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I inspect them on racks every now and then,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">thinking I might save yet another refugee from recycling,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">becoming composite material for playground surfaces<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">because kids can&#8217;t handle falling on bark dust anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I continue to haunt garage and estate sales,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">hoping, praying, conjuring<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">some old coot croaked<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">from smoking too many Camels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He left behind a closet<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">stuffed with nothing but corduroy,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">that when I behold,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I will fall to my knees<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">and weep tears of joy<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">with a 2-wail stream.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Let me wear corduroy garments or let me stride naked in public or incarcerate me in Dockers. Pants, blazers, shirts, cutoffs, coats with no more than 6-wail, NEVER PLEATED PANTS! Oh the glorious loose, comfortable nature of this cozy clothing! Let us remember the halcyon days of corduroy, the baby blue three-piece suit with wide [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9962,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,16],"tags":[234],"class_list":["post-11336","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-meditations","category-poetry","tag-corduroy","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11336","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11336"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11336\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11336"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11336"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nestuccaspitpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11336"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}