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April 20, 2021

Sunday Horseshoes in the Park

Matt Love NSP Meditations

The squeaking of a swing

Geese honking

A motor boat growling

Dogs barking

Skateboards clacking

The rush of vehicles on the bridge

Hummingbirds brawling

A mother scolding a child

Cedars swaying

Daises in the grass

Cherry trees blooming

Teenagers posting videos

Gulls gliding

Families fishing

A balloon escaping a birthday party

A date in progress

A horseshoe park with 36 pits

and no one playing.

One gets the idea that horseshoes were a big deal here,

a long time ago,

in the days of canasta and bowling

There are even bleachers!

Imagine that. Horseshoe spectators!

What was said while they watched?

A lost poetry, for sure.

April 19, 2021

Dad and “Dover Beach”

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Poetry

Dad and I were on the deck on a sunny afternoon. We were talking of poetry, although it was difficult to concentrate. The cacophony of chainsaws, stone cutting, pressure washing, leaf blowers and weed whackers tends to do that to conversation.

Thoreau never heard any of that noise at Walden. Just the sound of railroads and that sound truly vexed him. He knew what it meant. Everyone should read Thoreau on railroads. He foretold our future with future technology.

Cutting through the two-stroke engine din, I asked Dad what his favorite poem was. He didn’t hesitate and said “Dover Beach” by Matthew Arnold. I knew the poem, but not like Dad did. I’ll never know a poem like he does. He told me first encountered it in high school and then recited it, probably the first such recital of its kind with a chainsaw grinding in the distance.

Dover Beach

The sea is calm tonight.

The tide is full, the moon lies fair

Upon the straits; on the French coast the light

Gleams and is gone; the cliffs of England stand,

Glimmering and vast, out in the tranquil bay.

Come to the window, sweet is the night-air!

Only, from the long line of spray

Where the sea meets the moon-blanched land,

Listen! you hear the grating roar

Of pebbles which the waves draw back, and fling,

At their return, up the high strand,

Begin, and cease, and then again begin,

With tremulous cadence slow, and bring

The eternal note of sadness in.

Sophocles long ago

Heard it on the Aegean, and it brought

Into his mind the turbid ebb and flow

Of human misery; we

Find also in the sound a thought,

Hearing it by this distant northern sea.

The Sea of Faith

Was once, too, at the full, and round earth’s shore

Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furled.

But now I only hear

Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,

Retreating, to the breath

Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear

And naked shingles of the world.

Ah, love, let us be true

To one another! for the world, which seems

To lie before us like a land of dreams,

So various, so beautiful, so new,

Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,

Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;

And we are here as on a darkling plain

Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,

Where ignorant armies clash by night.

We talked about what Arnold was after or not after in this poem. It turns from the ocean to the loss of human faith and our eternal ignorance. I said to Dad that in a million visits to the ocean, I have never felt the ocean angry or sad or depressed or the way Arnold depicts in the poem. It’s the ocean. It rolls in and then writers try to make something metaphorical. I have been guilty of that. The ocean will roll in long after writers have disappeared from the planet. That might be a good thing.

I asked Dad if he wanted “Dover Beach” read at his funeral. He said that might be a good idea. It won’t be me. I have no talent for that sort of thing.

I asked him if he something else in mind for his service. He said that was all up to me.

April 16, 2021

Splayed

Matt Love NSP Meditations

A young Black man was asleep, splayed on the concrete in front of a pharmacy. He was halfway out of his sleeping bag and surrounded by meager possessions, including a box of Ritz crackers and two bottles of water.

I passed by him and entered the pharmacy.

It was an overcast afternoon.

I shopped and bought wine, tacks and three rolls of film. I left the pharmacy.

Outside, an elderly White man was placing bottled water and a box of Ritz crackers next to the splayed man. He didn’t disturb him with talk.

I passed this gesture and walked toward my car.

Then I turned back and saw the White man open the door of his luxury SUV. He drove away.

I felt some hope rise within me. There is so little with this issue, and I kept thinking I want to get into this game and help. I have skills that could help.

April 15, 2021

Hope is Kindled by a Picnic Date

Matt Love NSP Meditations

The sun shined. It was 11 in the morning on a Monday. I sat on a splintered bench inside a disheveled tennis court, talking with a friend, when something caught my eye: a young bi-racial couple approached a nearby basketball court. He carried a basketball and a cooler. She carried a cushioned blanket. She unfolded it off to the side of the court and began to unpack the cooler.

It hit me! She was setting out a damn picnic spread!

The man started shooting hoops. He had decent form and hit a few threes and corkscrew layups. My friend and I watched them, marveled, remarked and smiled. Nothing like a damned picnic date to make you smile. I want to go on a picnic date!

A few minutes later the man came over to the blanket and they partook in food and drink. Several minutes after that, they both got up and shot hoops. She wasn’t bad either. They started playing HORSE or PIG. They were smiling and joking the whole time and I never once saw a phone in use.

April 14, 2021

Second Vaccine Shot

Matt Love Corona Virus Thoughts, NSP Meditations

I park in the bowels of the Oregon Convention Center. I am here for my second shot of Pfizer. It’s noon on a weekday.

I am wearing blue corduroys, a plaid Western shirt and black suede converse tennis shoes.

This is my third time here and it’s always been smooth sailing.

I approach the entrance carrying a pen and spiral notebook and behold a line a hundred people long! What the hell? There was no such line in previous visits. I strolled through with Dad twice and my first shot.

It occurs to me that the last line of this length I waited in was for Bruce Springsteen concert tickets in the Born in the USA days.

I’m in line, moving, taking notes. No one is talking to one another. All phone action. Will we ever speak to one another in lines again?

After the shot, I’m going to celebrate with pizza and a Fort George Ale.

The line is moving much faster than Springsteen.

Some thoughts: do celebrities wait in lines such as this one?; it smells like is medicinal alcohol in the stairwell; I still can’t believe that 45% of evangelical Christians refuse to get vaccinated.

I’m inside the Center. The set-up has completely changed from a week ago. Why?

They keep making announcements about no photography inside the Center unless taken at the designated Selfie Center. There is signage everywhere saying the same thing. Naturally it is willfully violated and that about sums up some people’s understanding of citizenship.

I notice people wearing concert t-shirts…Pink Floyd. White Stripes. I have never worn a concert t-shirt. I do have a concert t-shirt story, however, a pink Cheap Trick one.

Ahead of me, a large, tattooed, pink-haired woman scantily clad in black wears a t-shirt with large glittered white letters that reads: Fancy as Fuck.

What the fuck does that mean? Maybe I misread it. Maybe it reads Fancy a Fuck? Who the fuck knows?

I find myself growing weary of American culture. But I can’t drop out yet. One day, though, and a return to driftwood ford building.

I keep zigging and zagging and I find myself directly behind the Fancy as Fuck woman and her friend, who is similarly scantily clad in black and sports black lipstick as well. I’m social distancing as I move and catch snippets of their conversation. They are some employed in some branch of the sex trade. Or were.

I am not making this up. Portland, you know?

I get the shot from a pleasant nurse named Jane. Yes, Lou Reed comes to mind when she tells me her name. No pain at all.

She informs me they have 8400 shots scheduled for today.

I am sitting in a chair for 15 minutes to see if there are any side effects. Around me, people watch movies and sports highlights. I can hear their programs.

I write.

Eight minutes to go. I am feeling nothing strange so far.

Will all this make a difference?

I might not know for years, if ever.

It’s about time to go. I feel immense pride at getting vaccinated. I feel like I completed a profound duty.

I wonder if people who reject the vaccine feel the same.

April 13, 2021

Oregon Tavern Age: Steve Prefontaine Smiling

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Oregon Tavern Age

A blonde OTA woman wearing slinky yellow running shorts breezed into an OTA joint.

I did a double take and stopped writing drivel about having hope in the world. I sat in an ancient booth in the corner of a tiny dive. Above, staring down at me from a massive TV screen, was the goblinesque face of a 213-year old Pat Robertson. Thankfully the sound was off or I might have converted to Satan right there. How in name of the Universe was Pat Robertson still alive and Tom Petty dead? Riddle me that God and then I might believe in Bishop Usher’s proclamation that the world began in 4004 BC.

The OTA-in-shorts woman ordered a champagne in a mini bottle. She wiped herself down with a bar towel. I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

It was two in the afternoon on a weekday. I overhead the woman tell the OTA bartender that she had jogged to the joint for her day’s exercise. After taking possession of the champagne bottle and glugging down a belt, she went to join her OTA friends in a nearby booth.

It struck me that this was possibly the first and only time in the history of OTA life that an OTA woman had jogged to the joint in shorts and then ordered champagne. Somewhere in the atoms of this planet, Steve Prefontaine was smiling and sucking down a draft of Hamm’s. No doubt if he’d lived past 24 he would have ended up as OTA royalty around Coos Bay. No fucking way he would have ended up as an executive at an apparel giant that made over 2 billion in pretax profits last year and didn’t pay a single penny in federal income taxes. You know the one. They always feed off Pre’s broken body for legitimacy and Oregon cred. That corporation is about as Oregon as Shell Oil.

The OTA woman emptied the champagne and ordered another bottle. I dove deep into eavesdropping mode and overheard stories of cutting up brush, weak gravy at a nearby greasy spoon, a fat dog, and the vagaries of the new Apple smartphone software update.

Yes, many denizens of OTA life have Apple smartphones.

I don’t like it one bit, but hey, OTA country has to evolve or it will go extinct, just like Pat Robertson and his ilk will one day, with their proclamations that gender neutral bathrooms and a decent minimum wage are the work of the devil and the liberals.

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Teacher of the Year: A Novella

By Matt Love

A reluctant teacher becomes advisor to a moribund high school newspaper. He meets the new editor, a dynamic 18-year-old senior, and together they begin a unique creative collaboration that revives the publication and slowly slides into gray areas. As the poet Octavio Paz wrote, “To realize itself, love must violate the rules of our world...committed by two stars that break out of the conception of love, which implies breaking away and a catastrophe..."

Teacher of the Year
Amazon's Kindle Edition $6.99

Teacher of the Year unfolds in an energetic mixture of epistle, stream-of-consciousness, narrative and meditations on the craft and alchemy of teaching. There is no other more authentic literary exploration into the agonies and ecstasies of teaching in the annals of American literature than this novella.


A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems

By Matt Love

In perhaps the largest, most eclectic volume of previously unpublished poetry in the history of Pacific Northwest literature, Matt Love presents 148 poems written over a 30-year span.

As he writes in the introduction to A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems, “I have organized this collection into six categories: Ocean, Love, My Life, Oregon Tavern Age, Homelessness, Probation. These poems serve as a substantial but incomplete autobiography.”

“Confessionals, odes, scatological doggerel, polemics, tankas, haiku, prose, psalms, requiems, observations, love letters, lamentations, lyrics, stream of consciousness, meditations, lists, riffs, a eulogy, a sermon, a commencement speech, found poetry, tributes, elegies. I threw it all into an ancient cement mixer and hand cranked that concrete beast while watching blue herons undulate overhead and drinking red wine as the husky snoozed in his dirt fort. The result: A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems, something merging where Charles Bukowski, Richard Hugo, Mary Oliver and Liz Phair blend together.”

None of Love's poems were ever submitted to poetry journals, contests or magazines, making this collection a true renegade project of passion and readable to any denizen of a coastal dive bar.

A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems

Print Edition

$21.99 + $4 Shipping


Amazon's Kindle Edition $7.99 (Free if you have Kindle Unlimited)

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