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January 22, 2020

Dogs Reigning in My Mind (Part 16)

Matt Love Bonnie and Clyde Files, NSP Meditations

Dorothy Parker was a great American dog woman. She wielded her lap dogs like pistols in bars and salons and always got the last word. If only she was alive today and hosting a contemporary talk show with her dogs. Prince wrote a song about Dorothy Parker and it occurs to me he’d still be alive if he had a dog. Music was his whole life, the world is better as a result, but it wasn’t enough for him. I would have loved to heard a Prince song about his dog.

What does the phrase “the dog had his day” mean? Rupert Brooke answered the question in his charming poem titled, “The Little Dog’s Day.” One stanza reads: He took sinewy lumps from / the shins of old frumps. At the end of the poem, the dog dies In the gloom of the twilight gray but not before doing everything he’d always wanted to do, meaning “the dog had his day.” If you were a dog, what would be “your day?” List those things you’ve always wanted to do but social custom thwarts or prevents.

Ambrose Bierce in The Devil’s Dictionary defined a dog as, “A kind of additionally or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worship.”

Amen!

January 21, 2020

Dogs Reigning in My Mind (Part 15)

Matt Love Bonnie and Clyde Files, NSP Meditations

In a short story titled “Dogs” Ring Lardner wrote, “A man can’t be all bad when he is so kind to dogs…well friends when you come right down to cases they’s (sic) about as much sence (sic) to this as a good many delusions we got here in this country…”

Meditate on Lardner’s statement. It’s true. A man can treat dogs with kindness and still be an angry, hate-filled asshole or a genocidal dictator. I do believe there is a sliver of hope to reconstitute angry or hateful human beings into decent human beings if they love their dogs. Something good lurks there. Imagine the angry man’s dog as an unwittingly disguised or camouflaged entrance to a deep, dark, limestone cave where his heart resides. A person can enter that dog cave as a spelunker, and explore for the presence of a heart. If the spelunker discovers the heart, no matter how hardened or sclerotic, perhaps the discovery begins medicine. Why not start the healing with the love of a dog? In recent years, I’ve spelunkered into many a person’s angry or indifferent heart via their dog. I’ve met with both success and failure in these attempts, but I never stop trying.

Time for a painful admission: I used Sonny the husky’s invalid condition as an excuse for not acting as a better human being or even a mediocre one. What that means is that I told people I had to care for her and could not get away from home. What that means is that I did not spare the time to care for friends suffering from cancer, divorce, dislocation addiction and mental illness. I am deeply ashamed of this. I often wrote about Sonny and held myself up as a pedestal of virtue in my steadfast caring for her. I did care for her with all my heart, but I shut my heart off to others who needed me. Please forgive me. I have asked.

I don’t want to become an anti-human dog person as I get older. I’ve seen evidence of that in many elderly people, particularly those volunteering at animal shelters. Humans have dealt these people truly terrible, brutal hands. They themselves might have dealt other humans equally terrible, brutal hands. Dogs are the only creature they can now care about. Don’t let a dog become that to you. You can care for both.

January 20, 2020

Dogs Reigning in My Mind (Part 14)

Matt Love NSP Meditations

Lord Byron wrote an epitaph for his beloved Newfoundland named Boatswain, who died of rabies. Byron buried his friend in a tomb/monument that was larger than the one constructed after his death. It is perhaps the largest structure ever built memorializing a dog in history, excepting the two driftwood forts I built memorializing the deaths of two of my dogs.

Part of the epitaph reads:

Near this Spot
are deposited the Remains of one
who possessed Beauty without Vanity,
Strength without Insolence,
Courage without Ferocity,
and all the virtues of Man without his Vices.

This praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery
if inscribed over human Ashes,
is but a just tribute to the Memory of
Boatswain, a Dog
who was born in Newfoundland May 1803
and died at Newstead Nov. 18th, 1808

Byron got it: The very best you can say about a great dead dog doesn’t work as praise for a great dead human being. It sounds utterly phony. Why is that? What’s missing there? In Catcher in the Rye, Holden would have greatly benefited from having a dog around. He was friendless, neurotic, impulsive, and if ever there is medicine for those afflictions, it’s a dog. Imagine the dialogue Salinger could have written for Holden talking (ranting) to his dog! Talking about phonies!

In Shakespeare’s comedy Two Gentleman of Verona, easily the greatest play where a dog inspires the best of humanity, the servant Launce demonstrates unswerving loyalty to his little mutt Crab, and won’t leave him behind as he accompanies his master on a journey to Milan. During the play, Launce delivers multiple monologues about Crab and the extent of his suffering on behalf of the dog. I’ll be sworn, I have sat in stocks for puddings he hath stolen. He won’t give up the dog. Human beings give up on human beings all the time (and sometimes, dogs, too.) When did a dog ever give up on a human being? It is the worst feeling in the world to know when someone dear to you has given up on you, particularly at the critical moment you most need their loyalty and might possibly die without it. Launce’s monologues make me think Shakespeare got dogs, and with the same absolute profundity he got the interior lives of human beings, their colors and contours, their contradictions and conniving. The Bard’s insight into dogs begs the question: can a human being who doesn’t get dogs, really get human beings? Another question: can a human being who gets dogs not really get human beings?

One wonders if the productions of Two Gentleman of Verona by the King’s Men back in the day featured a real dog on stage. Or did a human get to play Crab and act like a dog that inspires a human to become a better human?

January 19, 2020

A Ken Kesey Christmas (For Tim)

Matt Love Fiction, NSP Meditations

Three days before Christmas, on a Saturday afternoon, two couples drank in a Nehalem Tavern called The Rain Blow Inn. The joint was famous for its Saturday prime rib special and crusty owner Mary, who greeted every person with the same greeting: “You gettin’ off or just gettin’ off?”

It was sleeting outside the Rain Blow, leaking inside, watering the dead plants, and about dozen men and women all appearing anywhere from 40 to 70 years old, or Oregon Tavern Age (OTA), drank cheap beer and carved up the prime rib like the citizens of Whoville carved up the roast beast.

One of the couples hailed from Portland. He was a mad poet and she was his moody moll. They drank fine tequila out of snifters. The other couple lived in Nehalem. She was a Hunter S. Thompson kind of social worker, he was an amateur Ken Kesey scholar. They drank black beers.

A college bowl game played silently on television. On the jukebox, deep cuts by Rush chosen by the poet rocked the room. The poet was reciting his latest poem, about a fishermen who drowned in tennis shoes.

A pounding rattled the front door. Everyone ignored it. The pounding continued and grew louder.

The poet stopped reciting and walked to the door. He pushed it open and got blasted with a shotgun spread of sleet that nearly knocked him over. He managed to hold the door ajar and a large man wearing a tattered red parka and tan slacks wheeled himself into the Rain Blow in a creaking, duct-taped wheelchair. His bare feet rested on the metal footplate. They were purple and swollen. His boots were tied around his neck. He wore no hat. His beard was white and scraggly. He carried possessions in two greasy backpacks secured to the sides of the wheelchair.

He was the spitting disheveled image of Ken Kesey’s Santa Claus from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, the dazed and confused hobo who showed up at the asylum on Christmas Eve and Nurse Ratched locked up and wanted to lobotomize.

On his way to the bar, he ran into the fake Christmas tree and left it teetering like a punch drunk fighter. No one at the Rain Blow seemed to know the man. He parked under the overhead Reznor heater blowing out gusts of warmth.

The poet went up to the man. “Where are your socks?” he said.

The man shook his head and looked at the liquor bottles. “Can you help me?” he said.

“Yes,” said the poet.

Everyone watched.

The poet darted out of the bar and across the street to the store that for a century had supplied the clothing and boots for loggers, fishermen, construction workers and hunters. But it was going out of business—the very next day in fact—because the locals now shopped at Wal Mart, Costco and Amazon.

A few minutes later, the poet returned with two pairs of gray wool socks and a yellow Tillamook Cheese stocking cap. He bent down and slipped the socks on the man’s feet. They snagged on his long, yellowed toenails, but the poet somehow got them on. The man smiled, donned the stocking cap, and the poet bought him a J&B Scotch and soda and the prime rib special.

The man ate his prime rib and drank two more scotches in silence. He thanked the poet, put his finger to the side of his nose, twinkled his eyes, and wheeled out of the bar into the cold Nehalem afternoon.

It was then that everyone noticed he had a cedar wreath attached to the back of the wheelchair. In the middle of the wreath was a tiny cross fashioned from milkshake straws.

A debate raged the rest of sodden afternoon whether the man was Jesus resurrected in the nick of time or Ken Kesey’s Santa Claus escaped from the nuthouse and on the lam at Christmas. The Kesey scholar argued for both. The social worker said Jesus would look exactly like that today if he did return. At least for American life. The moll wished they’d learned his name. The poet wanted hobo to return to the vernacular.

The poet started writing a poem about the man on a napkin. The bartender bought the house a round of Fireball in edible candy cane-flavored shot glasses and served up free mashed potatoes and gravy on the side. On the jukebox, Rush’s Christmas album started playing. Rush never released a Christmas album. It did now. Track one: “Little Drummer Boy.” The poet lost his mind, but in a good way.

January 18, 2020

Planet of the Apes Jello Shots

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Poetry

A bedraggled man of the streets

walks into the bar.

He orders a Pepsi and coke in a pint glass.

He pays in change.

He drinks it down in three gulps

and says there is a lot of vodka in here.

His sister served him.

His sister is helping him kill himself.

He tipped her.

He’s talking to himself,

about a duck hunt.

He orders a Jello shot,

tangerine mimosa,

he wants three,

but can only order one at a time,

his sister tells him.

She breaks the rules.

He digests three Jello shots and keeps talking.

Another version of Planet of the Apes plays above him.

The apes are kicking human ass.

Jesus I wish it was real.

Just take us over and perhaps we might amount

to something decent in the end.

Perhaps.

January 17, 2020

Man Riding with Chainsaw

Matt Love NSP Meditations

All it takes is one unique image, either fleeting or lasting, and that image can strike a kitchen match to the imagination of a writer. Or an artist. Or a musician. It can come from people or nature, anywhere. One merely has to be aware to notice.

A new image arrived today. It rode past me in a windstorm. It was riding so fast I barely saw it.

There I was at my usual corner table in the dive bar, writing a love letter to a loveless person, when something outside the window caught my eye. I looked and saw a man riding a bicycle down the sidewalk along Highway 101 and strapped to his back was a chainsaw, slung like a rifle.

Now this was no grandmother pruning chainsaw. This was a saw with a 42-48 inch bar, a beast, a saw a logger might use to murder a watershed.

I’d never seen a man riding a bicycle with a chainsaw on his back, much less riding on a sidewalk during a windstorm.

Where was he going with the saw in the windstorm?

How was the saw going to be used?

Stolen?

Meth?

Who was such a man who would carry a chainsaw in such an usual way?

I have no idea where this image will take me as a writer. This is merely a first pass. I sense it will surface in my Western, as will the image from years ago, when I saw a topless woman riding a bicycle into a clearcut. These two images might blend together in some way.

«‹ 180 181 182 183›»

Teacher of the Year: A Novella

By Matt Love

A reluctant teacher becomes advisor to a moribund high school newspaper. He meets the new editor, a dynamic 18-year-old senior, and together they begin a unique creative collaboration that revives the publication and slowly slides into gray areas. As the poet Octavio Paz wrote, “To realize itself, love must violate the rules of our world...committed by two stars that break out of the conception of love, which implies breaking away and a catastrophe..."

Teacher of the Year
Amazon's Kindle Edition $6.99

Teacher of the Year unfolds in an energetic mixture of epistle, stream-of-consciousness, narrative and meditations on the craft and alchemy of teaching. There is no other more authentic literary exploration into the agonies and ecstasies of teaching in the annals of American literature than this novella.


A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems

By Matt Love

In perhaps the largest, most eclectic volume of previously unpublished poetry in the history of Pacific Northwest literature, Matt Love presents 148 poems written over a 30-year span.

As he writes in the introduction to A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems, “I have organized this collection into six categories: Ocean, Love, My Life, Oregon Tavern Age, Homelessness, Probation. These poems serve as a substantial but incomplete autobiography.”

“Confessionals, odes, scatological doggerel, polemics, tankas, haiku, prose, psalms, requiems, observations, love letters, lamentations, lyrics, stream of consciousness, meditations, lists, riffs, a eulogy, a sermon, a commencement speech, found poetry, tributes, elegies. I threw it all into an ancient cement mixer and hand cranked that concrete beast while watching blue herons undulate overhead and drinking red wine as the husky snoozed in his dirt fort. The result: A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems, something merging where Charles Bukowski, Richard Hugo, Mary Oliver and Liz Phair blend together.”

None of Love's poems were ever submitted to poetry journals, contests or magazines, making this collection a true renegade project of passion and readable to any denizen of a coastal dive bar.

A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems

Print Edition

$21.99 + $4 Shipping


Amazon's Kindle Edition $7.99 (Free if you have Kindle Unlimited)

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