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September 22, 2019

Mr. Tambourine Man and the Trumpians

Matt Love NSP Meditations

I see a sign for $1 coffee at McDonald’s. Why not? Drip coffee is drip coffee. I park my car and walk toward the entrance. Three transients loiter outside. One of them, a man in his 70s or 80s or 90s, smokes a hand-rolled cigarette as he leans against his bicycle. Strapped to back of his bicycle are his worldly possessions, including a tambourine.

The tambourine arrests my attention. I almost detour to investigate. I want to know: What are the circumstances of the man’s playing? What makes him break out the tambourine? Does he sing as he plays? If so, what are the songs? What’s his name?

As I said, I almost detour but not this morning. Fatigue tops my curiosity—for the moment. It’s a rare occasion.

I walk inside McDonald’s. I am arrested by a sight again. Eight elderly men and two women wearing MAGA caps and t-shirts sit with their backs to the wall, sipping coffee. One man is warning government to keep its hands off Medicare. Another man is ripping immigrants while talking to the ceiling. He parrots talking points heard from the Fox News foxes outfoxing Americans out of their core decency, something I believe, I just know, know, know resides within almost every one of them.

Team Trump notices me. They stare collectively at me like I’ve never been stared at before. Perhaps the long hair. Perhaps the frazzled gray beard. Perhaps the corduroy blazer with the suede patches. No, it’s all three in combination! I’m a walking, not-yet talking socialist intellectual in uniform. Leon Trotsky has resurrected and plans to unionize the hamburger workers and overthrow capitalism! He also deigns to drink $1 coffee with the American proletariat, a mass of people who mostly align with Trump. Even Leon wouldn’t figure that one out. None of the Russian peasants ever wanted to align themselves with the Czar.

I freeze for a moment and soak in the Trumpian stare. I turn around and see Mr Tambourine Man puffing away outside. He’s sort of smiling. His face has a million weather reports etched upon it. He is weather.

What a contrast. What juxtaposition. Am I some kind of metaphorical meat in this American shit sandwich? Where is the more interesting and more important story? Is there any possible way to connect them?

Some answers come to me. Yes, they can come in McDonald’s.

I unfreeze and move to the counter. I’m thinking of Mr Tambourine Man…play a song for me / in the jingle jangle morning I’ll come following you.

Dylan didn’t invent him. Dylan never invented anything. He borrowed and fused. He readily admitted this in his memoirs. He’d heard a tambourine man long ago play his tambourine and sing along roads, in camps, in the woods, under bridges, in alleys, the willows, everywhere. Steinbeck knew of them, too. He put one in The Grapes of Wrath. The tambourine men have always been among us, which is kind of a comfort, because America needs them when things go to shit.

The Trumpians have always been among us, too, which is no comfort. The George Wallaces of America never seem to fade away. Will we finally lick their type before I die? Can we smote them?

I order my coffee and will give it to Mr Tambourine Man if he wants it. Call it payment when I ask him to break out the tambourine and play, sing right outside the window in full view of the Trumpians. They won’t hear a damn thing. They’ll just see him play and sing. They’ll also see me dance with coffee in hand.

People get discombobulated when they see people they don’t know or understand dance in public. Let’s dance! It worked for Kevin Bacon in Footloose. He was a real American revolutionary and overthrew religious tyranny!

Oh yes….the fatigue is gone and I’ve got that jingle jangle hitch in my giddyup as I carry coffee past the Trumpians. I’m relishing the song Mr Tambourine Man will open the show with. I’ll ask for Woody Guthrie or the Ramones. Prince? I know all the lyrics to “Raspberry Beret.” I haven’t danced in ten years. It’s time.

He’s not there! He’s bicycling down the road into the fog. I imagine the tambourine playing itself as the man pedals.

Next time, Mr Tambourine Man. And I will be following you to wherever your magic swirling ship takes us. Our senses haven’t been stripped. That’s the problem with the people inside.

September 20, 2019

Pete and Author Coaching

Matt Love NSP Meditations oregon author coaching

After almost 2 ½ years of working together, my friend and author client Pete, completed his 227,000-word novel, A Hundred Stingers. And here we are in a dive bar, where we story-conferenced, toasting this remarkable book, with stingers, which the bartender called an old timers’ drink! So be it.

A Hundred Stingers is Pete’s story of serving as an aviator over the Ho Chi Minh Trail during the Vietnam War. I’ve read all the major novels of the Vietnam War and this one rates right up there with Matterhorn, Fields of Fire, Dispatches and Rumor of War. It’s that good. It’s more timely than ever. We’ve got two undeclared wars still going on. We seem to learn nothing.

I have been honored to work with Pete on this monumental novel. It’s been one of the most rewarding experiences of my literary life and I hope to continue my work with other fledgling authors. If you are a writer with a book in mind, or know someone like that, please consider my services as author coach and let your friends know about me. I’m vastly cheaper than other coaches in the PNW, and I offer face-to-face meetings with authors, which in my mind, is the best way to go about this process. Every other service I know of is online only. Something is missing there

September 17, 2019

A Last Workshop?

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Writing

Last weekend I taught my Zen-fueled writing workshop in Astoria. It was perhaps the last of these unique literary gatherings as I move forward in new unforeseen directions with my teaching and writing. I will miss teaching in the marvelous and inspiring house of my great friends, Jennifer and Holt. They helped save my life and provided a space where so many writers prospered.

Twelve writers participated and we conversed, wrote, shared, laughed, listened and went on a wonderful collaborative journey together that was quite clearly an antidote for these angry, hurried times.

I wrote along with the participants and below is my response to the prompt (taken from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance), write about one side of an American coin: (mine was a penny)

The Lincoln Memorial…it’s what we’re supposed to stand for…all the ideals are contained and flow within this edifice. He just sits there in that huge, magisterial chair, with words from the Gettysburg Address etched in marble, great words—the best words of American life that today read like fiction. Or have they always read like fiction? When the Memorial was opened in the 1920s, America was still segregated, the KKK was riding high, and black men were routinely lynched. Think of that contradiction! It’s always the ideal and the reality of American life, that juxtaposition, the eternal struggle to live up to the words of the Gettysburg Address. Do we really even try anymore? At times we have.

September 17, 2019

Oregon Tavern Age: Box

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Oregon Tavern Age

I sat at a table in a cavernous bar in OTA country. It was a summer afternoon. I was licked after a grueling day on the construction job, eating a burrito large enough to feed a logging crew for lunch, and writing notes about a man I kept seeing parked off Highway 101 who regularly applied spray foam insulation to the exterior of his vehicle in some kind of art installation. It just kept growing, growing, bulging here, there, and everywhere. He was clearly living out of his vehicle, and thus living inside his art. I loved thinking that.

A woman at the bar shattered my fatigue and note taking. I looked up and beheld a tattooed and leggy OTA woman wearing jean shorts and a frilly top. She was holding up a phone, showing the male bartender recent social media posts from her boyfriend’s phone that she had copied while he was passed out or away. She was narrating the story with staccato bursts of profanities while eating rice and beans and drinking double Crown and cokes.

All of this was going down despite a work presentation she had to give in 45 minutes in a town 25 miles away. Apparently, the presentation would entail her demonstrating how to better clean vacation rentals to the housekeepers in her charge. She would show these lazy “fucktards” how to do it right and had taken dozens of photographs that very morning documenting how she wanted the rentals cleaned properly. She would probably leave out the part about cleaning them fueled on two double Crown and cokes for breakfast. But maybe not.

The posts revealed the boyfriend’s multiple liaisons (images included) and solicitations (emojis included) with other women. She wasn’t really upset with him over the sex part because she’d screwed someone else, too, yesterday, but wanted the boyfriend to fess up, and he couldn’t, despite the evidence. It was all fake news according to him.

I felt logy halfway through the burrito and couldn’t concentrate on the note taking as the woman ratcheted up the story with every new absurd twist and turn of her boyfriend’s depravity. I got up from the table and went up to the bar. I asked the bartender for a to-go box and the woman whipped around on the stool, stared at her crotch, stared at me, and said, “You can have my box!”

She smiled and I laughed.

Before I could answer she added, “But you should be warned about it.”

I said, “Not today, but thanks for the offer.”

She chuckled, whipped around, and slugged back the rest of her drink.

The bartender handed me the box. I walked away to load the rest of the burrito and headed for home.

September 16, 2019

Oregon Tavern Age: Rallying

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Oregon Tavern Age

A small older man began regularly appearing at the Sea Star. Every day and almost all day until the sun went down.

I first saw him sitting at the bar one summer afternoon, hunched over a large paperback and glass of water. He was not OTA. He wore a plaid short-sleeve shirt neatly tucked into blue jeans. He wore glasses and a big watch on his left wrist.

Over the course of the next few weeks, I observed his curious routine of reading books, drinking water, getting up to use the restroom, leaving the Sea Star for short walks, and filling up a water bowl for his dog, who was presumably nearby. The man hardly said a word to anyone when I was there.

It was pretty obvious he was homeless, but the pattern of his movements seemed highly peculiar. I’d never seen such a thing in OTA country before.

One day as I passed him on my way out, I studied his face. It was a third vacant, a third confused, and a third forlorn. It was unlike any face I had ever seen in person, on film, or read about in books. It was almost as if some amateur woodworker had used a router to grind out an original face of utter despair.

Who was this man? What was his story?

In short order, Gary, Linda, and Miranda, a Sea Star daytime bartender, got the scoop on the man’s plight, or at least tidbits of it, from the man himself.

He was local and had recently been evicted from his home for non-payment of the mortgage. Apparently his finances had withered because he was sending money to various “women” in several countries. At least one of them had promised to visit him. It all sounded like a classic catfishing operation but he denied a scheme and remained steadfast in his conviction that a woman from Turkey was coming soon. Miranda also informed me that he had lost his wife to cancer several years ago and had served as her caregiver.

Somehow the man had landed at the Sea Star and was living out of his mini-van with a Labrador. In the three weeks since his appearance, he’d never purchased a single drink, alcoholic or otherwise, and never gambled. I never once saw him look at a television. Just water and novels all day long and sometimes he didn’t read, but sat there, hunched over, staring into the old shuffleboard table that served as the scuffed Sea Star counter.

At some point, management of the bar had a conversation with the man about his non-paying presence, and occasional panhandling inside the joint.

Incredibly, at least in my mind, management said he could continue his routine (absent the panhandling) until the end of the month when a benefit check was supposed to arrive. He was even allowed to park out back of the Sea Star!

It was an extraordinary act of kindness from OTA country, and when some of us learned of it, we sprang into action. It was as if one simple act of kindness broke the dam and washed away the hostility that several regulars had demonstrated toward the man. He doesn’t buy anything! He’s taking up space! He needs to find somewhere else to be homeless! He can’t beg in here! Call the cops!

Why do the actions of the poor engender more anger than the actions of the rich? Often the most searing anger toward the poor emanates from poor people themselves. I have never understood this but I keep trying to understand.

Like I said, one act of kindness witnessed or heard about second-hand, and the gospel gets around. Call the gospel the dynamite of kindness. Watch it blow the dam to smithereens.

Someone at the Sea Star told the man about low-cost motels and a county non profit that might help him with housing. Gary and Linda brought in dog food, dog treats and smoked tuna! There were gifts of garden vegetables. I bought dog food, recommended novels from the Sea Star’s library, and offered my tent.

We rallied together to help the man. In doing so, we rallied ourselves, found fortitude, and staved off all the anger that poisons American life these days. There is nothing like rallying on behalf of someone who needs help, rallying without agenda.

More of that. If we don’t, we will perish from this earth.

Let me run with the word perish. An Apache proverb goes: the earth will perish with spiderwebs in the sky. Perish is such a beautiful-sounding verb to describe the act of dying. There is poetry in it. There is something transcendent there. Perish is also the cornerstone verb of the Gettysburg Address, the greatest 272 words in the history of everything inspiring written about the promise of American life. President Lincoln wrote it himself and read it to mourners on bloody ground. He wrote it to rally Americans to an ideal of what democratic government is supposed to be. He delivered it to rally Americans to the idea of healing deadly divisions.

We obviously don’t have that kind of President today. So let us rally ourselves instead and help men like the one lost in the Sea Star. Let us help women, children, animals and watersheds, too. It all begins with kindness and in this case, it began in a dive bar on the Oregon Coast.

Amen. Now get to work!

September 12, 2019

No Haircut

Matt Love NSP Meditations

I am sitting on a bench hewed from logs in front a greasy spoon. It is lightly raining on me. A few feet away is the locked door to the hair salon that is supposed to be open. The stylist should have started my haircut ten minutes ago, but no one has showed up. There is a note on the door saying she’ll rerturn at 5:30 but 5:30 has come and gone. I dearly wanted this haircut because I am seeing my mother in a few days and a haircut was going to be her birthday present. She’s never liked it when my hair grows long.

I am not angry or frustrated that the stylist is late, or perhaps never coming. My mind makes use of waiting in rain. I was early as usual. I like to arrive early to all aspects of my life and believe the habit has proved itself a secret weapon for me.

Where is the stylist? Can’t be traffic since the town only has one traffic light. Is she even aware she’s late and has a new customer waiting?

I kill ten minutes in a nearby thrift store. Nothing of interest in stock except two wooden tennis rackets, Jack Kramers, the model I already own.

I walk back into rain and around the parking lot. No one in the salon. I get into my car and drive away. Sorry mom. Your present will be the promise of a haircut.

A few minutes later I get a call. I listen to the voice mail when I reach home. It was the stylist. She was at the laundromat (two blocks away), apparently lost track of time, and issues a tepid apology. Maybe I can come tomorrow? No offers of a free or reduced cost haircut.

I decide I’ll try another stylist and see where that goes. I’m going to find a salon with an interesting name, perhaps even one with something ungrammatical in the title.

«‹ 191 192 193 194›»

Teacher of the Year: A Novella

By Matt Love

A reluctant teacher becomes advisor to a moribund high school newspaper. He meets the new editor, a dynamic 18-year-old senior, and together they begin a unique creative collaboration that revives the publication and slowly slides into gray areas. As the poet Octavio Paz wrote, “To realize itself, love must violate the rules of our world...committed by two stars that break out of the conception of love, which implies breaking away and a catastrophe..."

Teacher of the Year
Amazon's Kindle Edition $6.99

Teacher of the Year unfolds in an energetic mixture of epistle, stream-of-consciousness, narrative and meditations on the craft and alchemy of teaching. There is no other more authentic literary exploration into the agonies and ecstasies of teaching in the annals of American literature than this novella.


A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems

By Matt Love

In perhaps the largest, most eclectic volume of previously unpublished poetry in the history of Pacific Northwest literature, Matt Love presents 148 poems written over a 30-year span.

As he writes in the introduction to A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems, “I have organized this collection into six categories: Ocean, Love, My Life, Oregon Tavern Age, Homelessness, Probation. These poems serve as a substantial but incomplete autobiography.”

“Confessionals, odes, scatological doggerel, polemics, tankas, haiku, prose, psalms, requiems, observations, love letters, lamentations, lyrics, stream of consciousness, meditations, lists, riffs, a eulogy, a sermon, a commencement speech, found poetry, tributes, elegies. I threw it all into an ancient cement mixer and hand cranked that concrete beast while watching blue herons undulate overhead and drinking red wine as the husky snoozed in his dirt fort. The result: A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems, something merging where Charles Bukowski, Richard Hugo, Mary Oliver and Liz Phair blend together.”

None of Love's poems were ever submitted to poetry journals, contests or magazines, making this collection a true renegade project of passion and readable to any denizen of a coastal dive bar.

A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems

Print Edition

$21.99 + $4 Shipping


Amazon's Kindle Edition $7.99 (Free if you have Kindle Unlimited)

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