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A Blog by Matt Love
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May 23, 2022

Coffee Shop Eavesdropping

Matt Love NSP Meditations

I am sitting at a rickety table outside a coffee shop drinking coffee.

A table away, a grad student from my nearby alma mater confers with her professor about her thesis.

I eavesdrop and hear…”mobility studies, ethnography, points of intersection, percolating up, paradigms…”

Blah, blah, blah. Gobbledygook. Jargon. Dead language.

The grad students parrots it back to the professor.

I am so glad I didn’t pursue the academic life.

It is overcast. I smell coffee beans roasting. A homeless woman across the street smokes a cigarette and drinks three different cups of coffee.

I am thinking about a eulogy I have to write for a man who is about ready to die, a man who holds the title of the greatest storyteller I have encountered in Oregon Tavern Age country, a man with an exclusive Ernest Hemingway suicide story that I got down in print and should make available to Hemingway scholars, if there are any left in America.

I’ve never written a eulogy before. My dad has delivered hundred of them and gave me the lowdown on the genre.

I’m attacking on all writing fronts—the homeless, a short story about Fish Creek, blog posts, letters, a novel set in the mid 90s, prepping to edit a memoir of a long lost, deceased Oregon writer who was last published in 1972 in an anthology of creative writing written by inmates of the Oregon State Penitentiary.

I live for these resurrections of long gone Oregon stories and writers. There’s been a lot of that over the years. I think I prefer it to my own writing.

I looked at some used RVs the other morning. I have a fever to buy and older model and retrofit it to create the perfect creative and living space for me. Are their any Time Life books how to do this? One 1995 one-owner beauty is named Calista Cove. I like the alliteration of that name.

May 20, 2022

Ruminations on the Recent Primary Election

Matt Love NSP Meditations

The cryptocurrency ciphers who ran as Democrats for Congress got their asses kicked. Their non existent candidacies perfectly illustrated exactly what phony cryptocurrency is—non existent—unless it’s wealth extracted from suckers is exchanged for real cash trying to buy elections.

Why do some people running for office think they don’t have to vote in previous elections? Why do they start their political careers by running for the highest offices? Why not start by running for a seat on the school board or county commission?

One female Republican running for Governor ran an attack ad against another woman running for Governor claiming her opponent had supported the installation of tampon machines in boys restrooms in grade schools. What is there to say about that? What political consultant pitched that idea? How can I use this ad in a work of fiction? The opponent did win the primary so there is a glimmer of hope.

Homelessness was identified by urban and suburban voters across Oregon as the number one issue. They want something done and done with alacrity. The winds among progressive and caring people have shifted dramatically on this issue and the advocates for the homeless don’t seem to grasp this fact. This ignorance has the potential to cost homeless people dearly. The advocates need to regroup and rethink strategy and not merely throw out the same tired jargon as before. It doesn’t play anymore.

I see the Clackamas County Clerk screwed up their election by mailing out ballots with blurred bar codes. Now they have to be hand counted. Of course the clerk won’t resign. Nobody holding elective office at any level ever resigns when their sheer incompetence at administrating is exposed and results in dire, even deadly consequences. My question is: have they ever in the history of American political life?

I voted. I always vote. I’ve voted for every tax increase ever put in front of me. I broke up with someone because they didn’t vote.

I read that the initiative drive to allow liquor sales in grocery stores failed. They didn’t turn in a single signature. That means Oregon’s liquor distribution is still socialized!

I read the entire voter’s pamphlet. It contains some of the more bizarre writing and character I’ve ever read. Someone could combine excerpts into an interesting piece of writing.

I recall from my teaching career that several time, principals or teachers in charge of student councils secretly voided election results because they believed they were potentially detrimental to the school, meaning they hated the candidate who won. They usually used the excuse of the undesirable candidate stuffing ballots. It was the most egregious violation of students’ constitutional rights I ever witnessed in my teaching career, and that’s saying a lot because there were violations going on all the time.

I still can’t believe the rest of the country hasn’t gone exclusively to mail balloting. To think bad weather can determine elections is absurd. To make citizens, many elderly or handicapped, many working full time, many with child care issues, wait hours in line to vote is criminal, immoral. There is nothing patriotic about standing in line to vote. The patriotic thing is voting.

This 2022 general election is going to be huge, huge. The House and Senate could swing Republican and then all Biden gets do is veto every piece of legislation presented to him. And of course, the Republicans say they are already going to impeach him.

May 18, 2022

Notes for a Short Story

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Writing

I drove to see the aftermath of the 2020 forest fire that burned much of the Mt Hood National Forest along the upper reaches of the Clackamas River. I was on a story reconnaissance mission that would drive me 20-25 miles past Estacada, along the Clackamas River, past the Fish Creek Campground where I had camped 35 years ago and witnessed such bizarre behavior by Oregonians that I believe today helped turn me into a writer. The short story I want to write about that memory has been sloshing around my mind for year. Of course, once you start writing a story based on memory, it could change. It will change into something you never imagined. That’s the joy of writing fiction.

Some notes taken during the visit:

They were still clearcutting areas that had not been burned, which seems insane.

I noticed the elaborate and expensive in-stream watershed restoration efforts trying mitigate a century’s worth of industrial abuse, including the construction of a dam.

As I said, the clearcutting goes on and the dam keeps killing wild fish. Such is the contradiction of Oregonians and their abused watersheds. They just can’t go whole hog in on the healing. They already did on the murder.

I passed the charred remains of tens of thousand of trees. Some trees survived and have scorch marks. They’ll grow stronger as a result.

Campgrounds and boat launches were obliterated. Why does that make me happy? Simple. Less people to play or meditate in the watershed. But without time along this river some people might go insane. Such is another contradiction. Humans need nature and when many humans interact with nature, they often kill it.

I passed the phony fish hatchery propagating and releasing fake fish that deludes so many people that there is nothing wrong with Oregon’s watersheds.

Something arrested my imagination after noticing how the fire jumped some draws and gullies: this is where the old trees lurk and grow fat and tall.

But the same is not true in metaphor if a forest fire jumps a human being and therefore doesn’t allow the human being a chance to survive the fire after being burned or scorched. If the fire find you, you might get incinerated, or you might adapt after the singeing and grow a different way, perhaps a bit crooked, but growing nonetheless in unexpected ways before the fire hit. I know all about this.

Men harnessed by ropes installed steel mesh on the cliffs to keep rocks from falling on the roadway and smashing into vehicles.

A fog rolled in and landed on the tips of the black spars and it looked both painful and beautiful. A painting that should be painted.

(Note to self. Come up here when it begins to snow)

Foresters have spray painted blue marks on dead trees that must be removed because of potential danger to human beings although their presence nourishes wildlife. This is basic ecology, something almost never taught to kids in grade school. They get taught how to write basic code before anything about basic ecology.

A few trees survive here or there. How? Why this one and not that one? Just like human beings.

The river ran with incredible rolling pace after record spring rainfall and I marveled overlooking the exact spot we floated down the river drunk on blackberry brandy during a bone dry summer. I still wonder how we survived. One of us almost didn’t.

Yellow flagging blocked the entrance to the Fish Creek campground where all the aforementioned bizarre Oregon behavior went down. A sign said trespassers will be prosecuted. Think of that: arrested and prosecuted for trying to remember something.

I broke the law and explored the campground. It was charred but the undergrowth was bursting with colors of rebirth. Overhead, six or seven birds of prey rode the thermals. I never bothered to notice such things 35 years ago.

I saw broken ancient beer bottles and crushed cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon and Rockstar Pure Zero.

People are still partying here! And now it’s illegal! Oregon lives! Not everyone in Oregon is on a damn computer! Long live Oregon miscreants! I hope I write about them until I stop writing.

A log truck hugged my ass and then blew around me at 70 mph on a narrow stretch where the speed limit was 40. Death by Oregon log truck, not a bad way to die for an Oregon writer who loathes clearcuts. It might make the news and move some books.

Who were the Native American tribes that lived around here, moving up and down the river and creeks to harvest the salmon and game and plant life? They are all gone. Memories of them are gone except by those visiting the local history museum and seeing the old photos and artifacts. But what is that memory worth? What is my memory of camping at Fish Creek Campground worth? If I ever finish this story, ten people will read it.

All the bizarre and degenerate behavior I witnessed at the campground floated back to me as I traipsed through it. I laughed at some of it then. I laugh at all of it now. One image from them: an obese woman passed out on an inner tube, floating in the current, the tube tethered to a tree so she wouldn’t drift away.

I recalled something I read years ago about the Clackamas River. In 1908 or 1909 Rudyard Kipling visited the upper reaches and claimed the fly fishing was the best in the world. The great imperialist poet caught silvers and kings here!

But he never wrote a poem about it. Why?

May 16, 2022

Conversation in a Coin Shop

Matt Love NSP Meditations

I visited a coin shop for the first time in my life. I went there to have my mother’s childhood coin collection appraised as she and my step dad get ready to move and begin downsizing.

The proprietor was an elderly Asian man wearing a side arm.

I explained my presence and he asked me to place the coins on a flat felted display.

He quickly separated the valuable from the invaluable and informed me: the foreign coins were worthless as far as monetary value went, the buffalo nickels were worth 30 cents each, the old dimes $1.50 a pop, the other assorted American coins merely their face value. My total haul would come to $7.00.

I asked him if any teachers ever came in and asked for coins to teach history, mathematics, metallurgy and geography.

His eyes lit up! He told me they used to come in all the time 20 years ago but the Internet killed all of that. He then demonstrated several lessons in American history using old coins that were positively brilliant. The man was more an educator than coin shop dealer carrying a sidearm.

I was enthralled and added my points to his lessons. He asked if I was a teacher and I said I had been in a former life.

This conversation lasted about 30 minutes and was easily the best one I’ve had with a stranger who wasn’t homeless in the past three years. All of what he did was tactile, too, moving coins around with his hands, showing the wear and tear, pointing out the changes in design and why they came about. We also discussed how foreign coinage and currency is typically so much more beautiful than America designs. I mean, the Canadians put beavers and elk on their coins!

It was a pleasure to be around someone so obviously skilled and passionate about his trade and was willing to share of his knowledge so effortlessly. He reminded me of my former construction boss. You don’t see this quality a lot these days. Or at least I don’t.

I was ready to leave when he said he wanted to give me a gift. He set it down on the felt. It was silver-colored penny. He told me they were minted for one year during WW II to save copper, a precious metal needed for wiring in tanks, ships, communications, everything.

It was an era of rationing and Americans didn’t balk (but did set up black markets). We both discussed how many Americans probably wouldn’t accept such rationing today in the face of war. They sure didn’t during the Pandemic.

I said goodbye and walked out into the street. I saw a restaurant worker eating her lunch on a pallet. I pulled out a buffalo nickel and stopped and asked if she wanted a rare American coin. She said YES! She took the coin and examined the buffalo and the Native American on the other side.

COOL she said.

Yes, it was. Much better than dead slaveholders.

May 13, 2022

A New Poet for Oregon—Lee Meier

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Poetry Lee Meier, Oregon poet, oregon poetry, poetry

My good friend and Oregon legend Lee Meier has published an extraordinary new collection of poems called Circus Machinery. It’s his first book.

I urge everyone out there who cares about Oregon literature and who wants to support local poets and writers to check out this book. The link to purchase a print edition is:

Lee and I go back to 2002 when I discovered that back in 1970, he was one of the four young people who approached Governor McCall to ask for a site to hold a rock festival outside of Portland with the idea of a “defusing mechanism (McCall’s words) to avoid violence downtown during the national convention of the American Legion. This was right after the invasion of Cambodia and Kent State and well, you know the rest—a terrible time.

Lee was 20 years in 1970, and his successful and far out effort helped elect McCall to a second term and change the course of modern Oregon history for the better. When I was writing my Vortex book, Lee was beyond generous and sat with me for a long interview and gave me the use of all the incredible photos he took at Vortex. His generosity was one of the more inspiring moments of my creative life.

These poems were written over the span of his adult life and take the reader on an unforgettable journey through Lee’s life and the landscapes that enchanted him. I know I will be reading these poems again and again, for a long time.

Get the book. Support a new Oregon poet.

May 11, 2022

Pendleton: A Short Story

Matt Love Fiction, NSP Meditations

He was late as usual. I sat on the porch with my phone, waiting, texting people I didn’t even like and playing a dumb game. Mom didn’t wait with me. She never did. I can’t remember the last time they talked to one another in person. Maybe at my eighth grade graduation. They just set things up every now and then

and handed me back and forth. But at least there was some handing off. A lot of my friends didn’t even have that.

There wasn’t a cloud in the September sky. I wore my usual clothes. Nothing much moved around me this Saturday morning.

Thirty minutes later, I heard it before I saw it: the blue Ford van nearly older than he was, belching black smoke from a dangling tail pipe barely attached to a rusted undercarriage. When he came into view, he gave me a half-ass wave as he popped a breath mint in his mouth. I saw him check the rear-view mirror and rub his face and push back his hair. Hung over again.

I dreaded the van. It would reek of cigarettes, sweat, gasoline, mold and Burger King. It always took me ten minutes to clean away his construction shit so I could sit down. Three hours to the Pendleton Round-up to see cowboys abuse animals and drunk people stagger around. I didn’t want to go to a rodeo. I hated everything they stood for. I never wanted to go anywhere with him. But this was his one allowed visit a month, which meant I saw him three or four times a year. Mom made me go but I don’t think it was for my sake.

He drove fast on the Interstate, passing every car without signaling. The van shook a lot and tools banged around in the back. He took a few calls and got angry each time. I counted hawks and watched the Columbia River roll west. I noted the exact spot where the Gorge turned from green to brown, from trees to rock. In Hood River, I saw a couple of windsurfers a good forty feet above the water. Just past The Dalles I saw the dam and all the wires. He constantly changed the radio station from country to classic rock and never once asked me what I wanted to hear.

We hadn’t said a word since the greeting and the handshake, but that was okay. I had nothing to say to him and I wondered if he felt the same about me. An hour left to Pendleton and we still had two more days together.

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Teacher of the Year: A Novella

By Matt Love

A reluctant teacher becomes advisor to a moribund high school newspaper. He meets the new editor, a dynamic 18-year-old senior, and together they begin a unique creative collaboration that revives the publication and slowly slides into gray areas. As the poet Octavio Paz wrote, “To realize itself, love must violate the rules of our world...committed by two stars that break out of the conception of love, which implies breaking away and a catastrophe..."

Teacher of the Year
Amazon's Kindle Edition $6.99

Teacher of the Year unfolds in an energetic mixture of epistle, stream-of-consciousness, narrative and meditations on the craft and alchemy of teaching. There is no other more authentic literary exploration into the agonies and ecstasies of teaching in the annals of American literature than this novella.


A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems

By Matt Love

In perhaps the largest, most eclectic volume of previously unpublished poetry in the history of Pacific Northwest literature, Matt Love presents 148 poems written over a 30-year span.

As he writes in the introduction to A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems, “I have organized this collection into six categories: Ocean, Love, My Life, Oregon Tavern Age, Homelessness, Probation. These poems serve as a substantial but incomplete autobiography.”

“Confessionals, odes, scatological doggerel, polemics, tankas, haiku, prose, psalms, requiems, observations, love letters, lamentations, lyrics, stream of consciousness, meditations, lists, riffs, a eulogy, a sermon, a commencement speech, found poetry, tributes, elegies. I threw it all into an ancient cement mixer and hand cranked that concrete beast while watching blue herons undulate overhead and drinking red wine as the husky snoozed in his dirt fort. The result: A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems, something merging where Charles Bukowski, Richard Hugo, Mary Oliver and Liz Phair blend together.”

None of Love's poems were ever submitted to poetry journals, contests or magazines, making this collection a true renegade project of passion and readable to any denizen of a coastal dive bar.

A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems

Print Edition

$21.99 + $4 Shipping


Amazon's Kindle Edition $7.99 (Free if you have Kindle Unlimited)

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