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August 19, 2020

Excerpt from Meth Town, My Upcoming Western

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Writing

On the map it was Driftwoodville. Wastin’ away again in driftwoodville / searchin’ for my last crystal of meth the tweakers sang when they tweaked around a burn barrel at midnight or rode in grocery carts down the side streets in broad daylight.

It was all one big fat joke to them, American life that is. Bob Dylan said so in “All Along the Watchtower.”

Driftwoodville, population 2772, became Meth Town because of four reasons:

  1. Its junction of three state highways: 101, 38 and 42. Highway 101 north up the coast, 38 northeast into the woods, and 42 southeast into the fields. The junction was like a big fat corroded heart pumping meth into Oregon’s poorest, dumbest and most forlorn areas. Poor, dumb, forlorn (toss in boring, too)—prime meth country.
  2. The Pacific Northwest rural economy had gone to shit. Logging and fishing had vanished decades ago and the old timers still blamed the tree huggers and pussy liberals. Driftwoodville was typical of these towns. There were no longer any grocery stores, only a Dollar Whore or a Dollar Whatever, and they provided most of the stable employment—at minimum wage of course. The rest cleaned motel rooms or made corndogs in gas stations. There were a couple trinket shops for the tourists selling shells from Indonesia and a chainsaw art gallery with bears, unicorns and various depictions of President Trump (all with small peckers). There were always some reactionary retirees, dive bars and sparkling pot shops. How the underclass survived was a mystery: maybe some disability money, food cards, food banks, collecting cans and bottles, petty theft, video lottery. Who the fuck really knew? They didn’t even know. They just poked in and out of the margins, the willows, the weeds, and somehow managed to own smartphones.
  3. Driftwoodville was not an official city. It was located in an unincorporated area of the county and had no police force of its own. It also had no town council or leadership of any kind. A hick sheriff’s deputy patrolled through every now and then, but the town was largely without any uniformed law enforcement. No one wanted to pay taxes to pay for it. Or they wanted someone else to pay for it, like the rich people in the slick cities they despised. Driftwoodville was just one of several small towns in Boardman County, easily the dumbest county in Oregon, with the dumbest county commissioners, men and women who believed in the Resurrection, Bigfoot and that cougars caused the inevitable forest fires that would one summer burn Meth Town to ashes. The schools sucked, the hospital was understaffed and falling apart, and the asbestos and mold-riddled jail was overcrowded with mostly meth people violating probation (for using meth).
  1. For many residents of Driftwoodville, there was absolutely nothing to do except smoke and shoot meth if you wanted to feel something. After the crank caught fire, the meth miscreants would invariably do something compulsive—most of it was mayhem, some of it was art. Things occasionally got crazy out of hand in Driftwoodville (that’s why the Sheriff called it Meth Town), you know, the garden variety knifings, beatings, screaming at power poles, handstands on the sidewalks, stealing a baby crib off a porch (the baby wasn’t in it), but the one image that truly captured everything fucked up about Meth Town was that of the shirtless, tattooed and pierced man of indeterminate age skateboarding with a chain from the skateboard safety-pinned to the skin of his chest. Oh yeah, he was always eating a corndog when riding, too. There ought to be a large oil painting of that scene hanging somewhere. The critics would have no idea what to make of it. Neither would America.
August 18, 2020

Corona Virus Thoughts #12

Matt Love Corona Virus Thoughts, NSP Meditations

Pressure from the pandemic cracked a member of my family. He reached out for help and I am doing the best I can from afar. I offer him no agendas nor cliches. Just listen and offer a few suggestions for activities that helped me survive a recent cataclysm, and that might be of some use to him. He’s getting the Siddhartha writing prompts soon.

I’ve almost finished writing the Western. Once I do, I will have written the book in one month. Now I know how Louie L’Amour did it.

The fraudulent assault on voting by mail continues by a President who votes flawlessly by mail.

My mind drifts to old friends long gone. I’d love to hear from them. I’d love to be surprised.

The latest strange wanderer, the long haired guitar man keeps appearing. I don’t know he possibly lives, and with two dogs.

Another strange wanderer showed up yesterday. She’s young, obese, wearing a backpack and walking with two leashed-up collies. How does she possibly live?

I’m reading Butterfied 8 by John O’Hara and liking its decadence, elegant decadence, as opposed to the decadence of driving around town vaping weed in a sedan missing all but the front windshield.

Took a six-mile hike along a river yesterday. Saw some 300-year old Douglas firs that somehow survived the cross cut saw and chainsaw. When I walked by them, it always made me think: these are going to live longer than the United States of America.

I’m working on a pandemic writing curriculum. If only I could teach it somewhere.

I’m thinking about buying an RV, rescuing a mutt, and write the great American RV book (not a novel).

Listening to “Walking in LA” by Missing Persons. What a song! Only a nobody walks in LA…

I saw Michelle Obama on television giving a speech. As I listened, it occurred to me that she could beat Trump by 15 points without ever campaigning. It also occurred to me that she has a duty to her country to do so, something akin as going to war for your country to repel an invasion of the homeland.

August 17, 2020

Blackberries in Literature

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Writing blackberries

Yes, it is that grand time in Western Oregon to pick blackberries and eat them off the bramble or cook them into staples or treats. Or freeze for the dead of winter.

I’ve been picking up a storm this month and reflecting on my history as a premier blackberry man of Oregon. I’ve slayed them, I’ve eaten them, I’ve drank their love potions, I’ve written about them.

So have other writers. Here are my favorite blackberry riffs in literature. No, I did not Google for any of this. I just came across them in the course of a quarter century’s reading and was surprised at how often picked blackberries in reality and metaphor. Enjoy. And get out there and pick!

Blackberry-picking by Seamus Heaney

Late August, given heavy rain and sun

For a full week, the blackberries would ripen.

At first, just one, a glossy purple clot

Among others, red, green, hard as a knot.

You ate that first one and its flesh was sweet

Like thickened wine: summer’s blood was in it

Leaving stains upon the tongue and lust for

Picking. Then red ones inked up and that hunger

Sent us out with milk cans, pea tins, jam-pots

Where briars scratched and wet grass bleached our boots.

Round hayfields, cornfields and potato-drills

We trekked and picked until the cans were full,

Until the tinkling bottom had been covered

With green ones, and on top big dark blobs burned

Like a plate of eyes. Our hands were peppered

With thorn pricks, our palms sticky as Bluebeard’s.

We hoarded the fresh berries in the byre.

But when the bath was filled we found a fur,

A rat-grey fungus, glutting on our cache.

The juice was stinking too. Once off the bush

The fruit fermented, the sweet flesh would turn sour.

I always felt like crying. It wasn’t fair

That all the lovely canfuls smelt of rot.

Each year I hoped they’d keep, knew they would not.

From “Song of Myself” by Walt Whitman

I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars,

And the pismire is equally perfect, and a grain of sand, and the egg of the wren,

And the tree-toad is a chef-d’œuvre for the highest,

And the running blackberry would adorn the parlors of heaven,

And the narrowest hinge in my hand puts to scorn all machinery,

And the cow crunching with depress’d head surpasses any statue,

And a mouse is miracle enough to stagger sextillions of infidels.

Winston Smith drank blackberry tea in George Orwell’s 1984. The Party Members drank the real stuff.

Meditation at Lagunitas by Robert Hass

All the new thinking is about loss.

In this it resembles all the old thinking.

The idea, for example, that each particular erases

the luminous clarity of a general idea. That the clown-

faced woodpecker probing the dead sculpted trunk

of that black birch is, by his presence,

some tragic falling off from a first world

of undivided light. Or the other notion that,

because there is in this world no one thing

to which the bramble of blackberry corresponds,

a word is elegy to what it signifies.

We talked about it late last night and in the voice

of my friend, there was a thin wire of grief, a tone

almost querulous. After a while I understood that,

talking this way, everything dissolves: justice,

pine, hair, woman, you and I. There was a woman

I made love to and I remembered how, holding

her small shoulders in my hands sometimes,

I felt a violent wonder at her presence

like a thirst for salt, for my childhood river

with its island willows, silly music from the pleasure boat,

muddy places where we caught the little orange-silver fish

called pumpkinseed. It hardly had to do with her.

Longing, we say, because desire is full

of endless distances. I must have been the same to her.

But I remember so much, the way her hands dismantled bread,

the thing her father said that hurt her, what

she dreamed. There are moments when the body is as numinous

as words, days that are the good flesh continuing.

Such tenderness, those afternoons and evenings,

saying blackberry, blackberry, blackberry.

Tom Robbins–Still Life With Woodpecker

“In the wet months, blackberries spread so rapidly that dogs and small children were sometimes engulfed and never heard from again. In the peak of the season, even adults dared not go berry picking without a military escort.”

Blackberrying by Sylvia Plath

Nobody in the lane, and nothing, nothing but blackberries,

Blackberries on either side, though on the right mainly,

A blackberry alley, going down in hooks, and a sea

Somewhere at the end of it, heaving. Blackberries

Big as the ball of my thumb, and dumb as eyes

Ebon in the hedges, fat

With blue-red juices. These they squander on my fingers.

I had not asked for such a blood sisterhood; they must love me.

They accommodate themselves to my milkbottle, flattening their sides.

Overhead go the choughs in black, cacophonous flocks—

Bits of burnt paper wheeling in a blown sky.

Theirs is the only voice, protesting, protesting.

I do not think the sea will appear at all.

The high, green meadows are glowing, as if lit from within.

I come to one bush of berries so ripe it is a bush of flies,

Hanging their bluegreen bellies and their wing panes in a Chinese screen.

The honey-feast of the berries has stunned them; they believe in heaven.

One more hook, and the berries and bushes end.

The only thing to come now is the sea.

From between two hills a sudden wind funnels at me,   

gapping its phantom laundry in my face.

These hills are too green and sweet to have tasted salt.

I follow the sheep path between them. A last hook brings me   

To the hills’ northern face, and the face is orange rock   

That looks out on nothing, nothing but a great space   

Of white and pewter lights, and a din like silversmiths   

Beating and beating at an intractable metal.

The Heart Under Your Heart by Craig Arnold

Who gives his heart away too easily must have a heart
under his heart.
—James Richardson


The heart under your heart
is not the one you share
so readily so full of pleasantry
& tenderness

it is a single blackberry
at the heart of a bramble
or else some larger fruit
heavy the size of a fist

it is full of things
you have never shared with me
broken engagements, bruises
& baking dishes

the scars on top of scars
of sixteen thousand pinpricks
the melody you want so much to carry
& always fear black fear

or so I imagine you have never shown me
& how could I expect you to
I also have a heart beneath my heart
perhaps you have seen or guessed

it is a beach at night
where the waves lap & the wind hisses
over a bank of thin
translucent orange & yellow jingle shells

on the far side of the harbor
the lighthouse beacon
shivers across the black water
& someone stands there waiting

August By Mary Oliver

When the blackberries hang
swollen in the woods, in the brambles
nobody owns, I spend

all day among the high
branches, reaching
my ripped arms, thinking

of nothing, cramming
the black honey of summer
into my mouth; all day my body

accepts what it is. In the dark
creeks that run by there is
this thick paw of my life darting among

the black bells, the leaves; there is
this happy tongue.

Blackberry poem by Gary Snyder

Love me love, til trees fall flat
their trunks flail down the berries
Til ripe sharp vines crawl through the door
and the air is full of sparrows
I loved you love, in the halls and homes
and through the long library;
I loved you in the pine and snow
now I love blackberry

Henry David Thoreau from journal Sept 27 1857: “Blackberry vines here and there in sunny places look like streaks of blood on the grass.”

August 13, 2020

They’re Watering the Football Field

Matt Love NSP Meditations

The high school is still watering the football field. Is that optimism or delusion. Fall sports in Oregon were postponed but the watering goes on. Why? High school football isn’t coming back next year. It might be years. It might never come back to this tiny high school situated near a sewage treatment plant.

There is a great American poem in the watering of a football field that no one is going to play on for a long time, if ever. I am not the poet to write that poem. I don’t have the talent. If I did, I would title it “No Football in America.” Why be clever or nuanced with the title? Don’t tell it slant. Write the whole damn poem as simple as a give to the fullback for a plunge up the middle. You don’t throw the bomb on a poem like this. You grind it out. You mention that many of today’s Americans no longer had the ability to grind it out when it came to giving a damn about others. They gave up. Then they partied hard to congratulate themselves for giving up and killing many of their teammates in American life who kept grinding for the TEAM, not individual moronic glory in the guise of taking a stand for the Bill of Rights. Football coaches espouse a lot of bullshit about the importance of TEAM. I heard it for years. Playing this kind of selfish football (that’s a metaphor) in America right now isn’t about TEAM. It’s about ME. It’s about how football players today routinely celebrate special teams tackles and quarterback sacks in the second quarter of a game when their team is 2-9 and trailing be 30 points. That’s what we became as a nation and you can watch this unfold every single second in public during the pandemic.

August 12, 2020

Oregon Tavern Age: Skunk

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Oregon Tavern Age

I was sitting at my usual window table in an Oregon Tavern Age (OTA) joint. I was alternating between drinking a beer and writing a Western with a mask on.

A big pickup truck pulled up in front of the window and parked. Its bed was loaded with a king size mattress, box spring and mattress topper. A crazy white mutt was in the passenger seat barking at the sidewalk.

Seconds later, a large OTA man walked in the joint. He’s a jovial regular and ordered his usual and then raised his voice and asked, “Does anyone want a mattress? I’ve got a king out in the truck.”

He went to tell the story of how the previous night his dog had mixed it up with a skunk late at night, got skunked (for the fifth time) then bolted back inside the doggie door and jumped into bed with the man and his wife. The bed and the bedding were ruined right there.

So the whole stinking mess was going to the dump as soon as he drained a few beers. He and wife were sleeping in the camper until the new bed arrived. As for the mutt, well he got doused with all sorts of hokum cleanup solutions be he still reeked.

No one wanted the bed.

August 11, 2020

Fort Fire

Matt Love Driftwood Forts, NSP Meditations

I encountered the most curious driftwood fort the other morning. It was smoking in the fog. It was half charred and ready to collapse. I saw a can malt liquor in the ashes near its base. Of course. A party of some kind the night before. Whoever they were, they didn’t even bother breaking down the fort. They just lit it up.

I shored it up the fort with some smoking pieces of wood. I gathered more wood and stoked the embers. I got the fire going, good and crackling. It was burning in the fog like a beacon. Probably no one would see the beacon because visibility was 50 yards and no one was around for a half mile. I don’t generally leave fires on the beach unattended, but this one seemed safe. Maybe it would arouse a metaphor or two if a beachcomber did come this way.

«‹ 157 158 159 160›»

Teacher of the Year: A Novella

By Matt Love

A reluctant teacher becomes advisor to a moribund high school newspaper. He meets the new editor, a dynamic 18-year-old senior, and together they begin a unique creative collaboration that revives the publication and slowly slides into gray areas. As the poet Octavio Paz wrote, “To realize itself, love must violate the rules of our world...committed by two stars that break out of the conception of love, which implies breaking away and a catastrophe..."

Teacher of the Year
Amazon's Kindle Edition $6.99

Teacher of the Year unfolds in an energetic mixture of epistle, stream-of-consciousness, narrative and meditations on the craft and alchemy of teaching. There is no other more authentic literary exploration into the agonies and ecstasies of teaching in the annals of American literature than this novella.


A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems

By Matt Love

In perhaps the largest, most eclectic volume of previously unpublished poetry in the history of Pacific Northwest literature, Matt Love presents 148 poems written over a 30-year span.

As he writes in the introduction to A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems, “I have organized this collection into six categories: Ocean, Love, My Life, Oregon Tavern Age, Homelessness, Probation. These poems serve as a substantial but incomplete autobiography.”

“Confessionals, odes, scatological doggerel, polemics, tankas, haiku, prose, psalms, requiems, observations, love letters, lamentations, lyrics, stream of consciousness, meditations, lists, riffs, a eulogy, a sermon, a commencement speech, found poetry, tributes, elegies. I threw it all into an ancient cement mixer and hand cranked that concrete beast while watching blue herons undulate overhead and drinking red wine as the husky snoozed in his dirt fort. The result: A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems, something merging where Charles Bukowski, Richard Hugo, Mary Oliver and Liz Phair blend together.”

None of Love's poems were ever submitted to poetry journals, contests or magazines, making this collection a true renegade project of passion and readable to any denizen of a coastal dive bar.

A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems

Print Edition

$21.99 + $4 Shipping


Amazon's Kindle Edition $7.99 (Free if you have Kindle Unlimited)

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