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A Blog by Matt Love
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August 9, 2018

Return of the Fort Stoners

Matt Love Driftwood Forts, NSP Meditations, Oregon Beaches driftwood forts, fort messages, fort stoners, fort writing, oregon beaches, Oregon Coast

The fort stoners had returned. I opened the message container and found a tiny sealed envelope with “Weed Inside” written in black marker on it. I felt the envelope. Then I smelled it. Sure enough, there was a nug inside. I laughed and left the envelope alone.

Another new message wasn’t really a message at all. Someone had written a 75-word blast of fiction about a fantasy world where a 247-year-old woman lived in a driftwood fort and practiced ocean magic. There was only one typo.

Someone else left behind an exquisite ink illustration of a hand writing with a pen.

What a conversation—if conversation is the word—these fort containers inspire! Who are these wonderful people who wander inside a fort, open the container, and write or draw or give away drugs?

Weed. Art. Fantasy driftwood fort fiction. Life is good at the fort.

August 8, 2018

Tagging the Fort

Matt Love Driftwood Forts, NSP Meditations, Oregon Beaches driftwood, driftwood forts, graffiti, oregon beaches, Oregon Coast, tagging

At first I reacted in anger. Some idiot had tagged a fort, the very fort built by my former students, that has stood since the last day of my teaching career.

I investigated the tag. I know nothing of tags so it meant nothing to me, except for the representation of gross vandalism and a pathetic commentary of a human taking his or her civilization-inspired self aggrandizement into nature. It was naked neurosis.

A little breeze blew through the dunes where the fort stood. The ocean barely moved.

I reconsidered the tag, because, well, I have been in full reconsideration mode the past two years, and have slowed, if not eliminated altogether, a rush to judgment on all matters.

We don’t exactly live in an age of reconsideration, where reconsideration is valued and encouraged.

I looked at the tag and thought:

  1. At least the tagger was at the beach and checking out a fort. That requires curiosity and a bit of a hike where most beachcombers never venture.
  1. The tagger bringing paint to the beach struck me initially as sad, but then I wondered if the tagger simply became unhinged to create graffiti art once he beheld this magisterial fort.
  1. Perhaps the tag was as ephemeral as the fort itself. And the wind, rain, sun and salt would annihilate it in all good time.
  1. Perhaps the juxtaposition or intersection of graffiti and a driftwood fort was the expression of a new kind of art, and the critics wouldn’t know what the hell to make of it.

I took a photo of the tag and then continued on my way. It felt good to reconsider, rather then to judge. Drifttwood forts are no place for judgment.

August 6, 2018

Musings from the Jetty

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Oregon Beaches Astoria, driftwood forts, fort messages, matt love, Oregon Coast, South Jetty

I sit atop the South Jetty, on a massive black rock. The rock is angled in such a way that it affords a perfect view of Saddle Mountain, Tillamook Head and one of my forts, the one where a couple of days ago, I read a fort message written by a 28-year-old man who was battling testicular cancer. Part of his battle strategy was to visit the ocean as much as possible and take in its unique curing powers. His message seemed that he was winning and it had nothing to do with chemotherapy.

Below me, a woman lets her dog run wild down the beach. Also, below me, a man builds a driftwood fort, a corral model, and it occurs to me that this is the first time I’ve ever seen a person build a fort who I hadn’t brought along. I watch him work and he constructs with intensity. He brought a shovel, too; he’s burying posts deep. Not my style but all styles are welcome.

It’s 63 degrees and 95 in Portland.

I wonder if I am the only man in the world at this moment wearing corduroys atop a jetty.

The tide is coming in. I watch the mathematics of the waves. I wish I’d had a math teacher who taught math through the ocean’s waves. The experience might have changed my life. I have written a short story about a young woman who discovers the beauty and order of the mathematics of waves and it unleashes something primal in her, as the ocean often does to people, in so many different ways. I wonder if I’ll ever see this story published. If it is, I will use a pseudonym and I’m working on that now. I think it may even be a female name. So far Amity (something) is in the lead.

August 6, 2018

Dogs Raining (Reigning) in My Mind Part 13

Matt Love Bonnie and Clyde Files, NSP Meditations dog sanctuary, dog stories, dog writing, dog zen koan, dogs, senior dogs, Seven Years in Tibet, Trail of Tears

This was written while I was surrounded by eight dogs on a sultry overcast day near a slack river.

In Democracy in America, Alexis de Tocqueville observed the Trail of Tears and recorded perhaps the saddest moment in history of American dogs and certainly the most agonizing account of humans having to leave their dogs behind:

At the end of the year 1831, whilst I was on the left bank of the Mississippi at a place named by Europeans, Memphis, there arrived a numerous band of Choctaws (or Chactas, as they are called by the French in Louisiana). These savages had left their country, and were endeavoring to gain the right bank of the Mississippi, where they hoped to find an asylum which had been promised them by the American government. It was then the middle of winter, and the cold was unusually severe; the snow had frozen hard upon the ground, and the river was drifting huge masses of ice. The Indians had their families with them; and they brought in their train the wounded and sick, with children newly born, and old men upon the verge of death. They possessed neither tents nor wagons, but only their arms and some provisions. I saw them embark to pass the mighty river, and never will that solemn spectacle fade from my remembrance. No cry, no sob was heard amongst the assembled crowd; all were silent. Their calamities were of ancient date, and they knew them to be irremediable. The Indians had all stepped into the bark which was to carry them across, but their dogs remained upon the bank. As soon as these animals perceived that their masters were finally leaving the shore, they set up a dismal howl, and, plunging all together into the icy waters of the Mississippi, they swam after the boat.

Heinrich Harrer’s classic 1954 memoir, Seven Years in Tibet, recounts another agonizing story of a human having to leave a dog behind. After almost two years of walking 2000 miles, through countless ice and snow covered passes of the Himalayas, and suffering unimaginable deprivation, Harrer, with a dog that had accompanied him for most of his journey, was poised to enter the secret kingdom of Tibet. The dog was oddly nameless in the book, but Harrer clearly loved it and was saddened when it simply couldn’t walk any further. He left the dog behind in a village and continued, where, in short order, he would meet the young Dali Lama, become his tutor and friend, and transform the world’s understanding of Tibet. The dog was left entirely out of the 1997 movie version starring Brad Pitt. Pitt reportedly nixed it from the script.

In the Mu Koan, widely considered one of the essential koans in Zen Buddhism, a monk asked the Master, “Does a dog have a Buddha nature or not?” The Master said, “Mu.” (No.) What is generally not recorded in print, however, is the Master’s response to the Monk after saying “no.”

“Don’t ask me, ask the dog.”

I have never met a phony dog in my life. I always wanted to date a woman with dogs who occasionally would rise before me in the morning and walk her dogs by herself. In the rich history of writing by dogs, Eugene O’Neill’s dog, Blemie, wrote perhaps the most moving example, The Last Will and Testament of an Extremely Distinguished Dog. It is a staple at dog wakes and funerals. A few memorable lines:

I realize the end of my life is near, do hereby bury my last will and testament in the mind of my Master.

I have little in the way of material things to leave. Dogs are wiser than men.

There is nothing of value I have to bequeath except my love and my faith.

It is painful for me to think that even in death I should cause them pain.

Dogs do not fear death as men do. We accept it as a part of life, not something alien and terrible which destroys life.

It would be a poor tribute to my memory never to have a dog again.

I want to write a book about the dogs accompanying their masters in the new American diaspora, a gigantic diaspora unparalleled in our nation’s history, a nation with many diasporas in its history, some documented in song (the Blues), some forced unconstitutionally (Japanese-Americans during WW II), some enshrined in myth (The Oregon Trail), some reversing previous expulsion (Mexicans reoccupying lands stolen through 19th century American imperialism) some with dogs and others dogless, some violent and some existential, some not even of human disposition, but animal, wolves and buffalo. And of course, there is the destructive diaspora of the Pacific Northwest salmon from their natural habitat, only to have humans invite them to return as fake hatchery fish to fake watersheds. This new American diaspora is largely unreported by the media, and if covered at all, lumped into a story of gentrification and homelessness, of addled minds, of the civic disturbance it creates, and almost exclusively framed as an urban story, where the presence of dogs is unnoticed, but the dogs (some cats, a few ferrets and snakes) are the crucial glue holding people on the move and in the margins together. I have seen this diaspora with my own eyes. I may very well part of it myself. I have seen Americans checking out in numbers unprecedented in our history. I have met many dogs of the diaspora. I really like them because they exude compassion like no other dogs I’ve ever seen.

August 4, 2018

Yet Another Bullet-hole Chair

Matt Love NSP Meditations Oregon Coast

I discovered another bullet-hole chair, only this one was bullet riddled.

It leaned against a dead milking parlor of an abandoned dairy farm. It might have leaned there for years, decades.

I saw the chair while waiting to deliver goods for the dog sanctuary rummage sale. There it was, riddled through metal on one side, cushion blown out the other.

Someone used it for target practice and they were apparently a good marksman.

I thought about taking it home and adding it to my collection of bullet-hole chairs—a matching set!

But I left the chair behind because I wanted someone else to notice it, make up a wild story, perhaps even take it home and have it become the centerpiece of a home’s décor, like mine is.

(Footnote: A few days after the discovery of the second bullet-hole chair, I was helping a friend clear out a garage when I saw two metal, cushioned folding chairs. I picked one of them up and noticed holes in the bottom in precisely the same arrangement as the aforementioned chair at the barn. I surmised they were present to provide ventilation for the cushion. No bullets made the holes. I still have just the one chair.)

August 3, 2018

Reading Trotsky’s Diary

Matt Love NSP Meditations Leon Trotsky, reading, revolution, Trotsky's Diary in Exile: 1935, unlined paper

I found a copy of Trotsky’s Diary in Exile: 1935, in a street library. It’s not often you encounter such a book in such a place, but there it was, waiting for me, and these unexpected books seem to be the ones changing my life these days.

I read the book in one sitting and underlined some memorable statements.

(As I write this, it occurs to me that I might be the only person in Oregon, or the country for that matter, who read a book written by Leon Trotsky and is writing about the experience.)

Trotsky wrote the diary while exiled in a remote alpine village in France. Stalin had kicked him out of the Soviet Union and would later have him assassinated in Mexico.

The introduction to the book is interesting and contains this literary nugget: Trotsky loathed writing on ruled paper (so did Thoreau) but only had ruled paper available to him. So, he wrote his diary without conforming to the rules of the lines and wrote his words on the paper wherever his hand and mind saw fit to place them! I loved learning that. I might try employing this exercise with a creative writing class if I ever teach one again, which I won’t.

Trotsky was the ultimate in world revolutionary. He never stopped trying to overthrow the capitalist order, whether it be at home or abroad. He had no personal life outside of the Revolution. He gave his life for it. It is impossible to conceive of anyone like him existing today, taking up the cause of economic justice, with his unrelenting zeal. He never quit.

I don’t think we’re done with Trotsky’s ideas yet…or Marx’s. Sooner or later, people will come around to them again, and perhaps avoid the murderous excesses of the past.

I would have loved to have read Trotsky’s take on the rise of the Internet and how it has deepened income inequality and turned out to be the new (cool) capitalist oppressor, in league with the State.

Here are some of my favorite statements from the diary:

There is no creature more disgusting than a petty bourgeoisie engaged in primary accumulation.

It’s spring, the sun is hot, the violets have been in bloom for about ten days, the peasants are puttering around in the vineyards.

People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life…

The thinking of mankind is bogged down in its own excrement.

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Teacher of the Year: A Novella

By Matt Love

A reluctant teacher becomes advisor to a moribund high school newspaper. He meets the new editor, a dynamic 18-year-old senior, and together they begin a unique creative collaboration that revives the publication and slowly slides into gray areas. As the poet Octavio Paz wrote, “To realize itself, love must violate the rules of our world...committed by two stars that break out of the conception of love, which implies breaking away and a catastrophe..."

Teacher of the Year
Amazon's Kindle Edition $6.99

Teacher of the Year unfolds in an energetic mixture of epistle, stream-of-consciousness, narrative and meditations on the craft and alchemy of teaching. There is no other more authentic literary exploration into the agonies and ecstasies of teaching in the annals of American literature than this novella.


A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems

By Matt Love

In perhaps the largest, most eclectic volume of previously unpublished poetry in the history of Pacific Northwest literature, Matt Love presents 148 poems written over a 30-year span.

As he writes in the introduction to A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems, “I have organized this collection into six categories: Ocean, Love, My Life, Oregon Tavern Age, Homelessness, Probation. These poems serve as a substantial but incomplete autobiography.”

“Confessionals, odes, scatological doggerel, polemics, tankas, haiku, prose, psalms, requiems, observations, love letters, lamentations, lyrics, stream of consciousness, meditations, lists, riffs, a eulogy, a sermon, a commencement speech, found poetry, tributes, elegies. I threw it all into an ancient cement mixer and hand cranked that concrete beast while watching blue herons undulate overhead and drinking red wine as the husky snoozed in his dirt fort. The result: A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems, something merging where Charles Bukowski, Richard Hugo, Mary Oliver and Liz Phair blend together.”

None of Love's poems were ever submitted to poetry journals, contests or magazines, making this collection a true renegade project of passion and readable to any denizen of a coastal dive bar.

A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems

Print Edition

$21.99 + $4 Shipping


Amazon's Kindle Edition $7.99 (Free if you have Kindle Unlimited)

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