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September 4, 2024

Some Thoughts on Football

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Sports

Yes, another American football season is upon us and thus, football season is on my mind.

Recently, my Dad told me the hilarious story of how his Uncle Elmer had to tell my Dad’s step-mother to tell her two young sons to stop tackling the pigs on his Pendleton farm in the early 1940s. When it’s all said and done, my Dad and Uncle Max might be the only two American men still alive who learned how to tackle by tackling pigs in the slop pen!

Speaking of tackling, my ex wife called me a couple of weeks ago in a panic: her son, an incoming sophomore in high school was going out for football and HAD NEVER PLAYED ANY FOOTBALL before, either pickup with buddies or organized youth leagues. She was scared he might get hurt and wanted my advice since she knew I had played and coached football. I told her son would probably love it or hate it from the first time he hit someone or got hit. I said to tell him to always keep his head up when he tackled and he’d be fine. Two weeks later she called me and said her son loved the game and will be playing linebacker or in the secondary for the JV team. My ex and I are going to see a game! It won’t cost a cent.

I watched a couple of college games on opening day but just turned them off a few minutes in because of the terrible cliche-ridden announcing (physicality and athleticism said every other sentence!) and absurd amount of commercials.

I read an interesting feature article on the SEC commissioner who pretty much by himself ruined college football as an interesting regional sport for greed, greed and more greed. So be it. The sooner universities decouple themselves from big time sports programs, the better. I was curious to read that this commissioner, as conservative and Trumpian as they come, has one great passion outside of sports and greed and that is to follow U-2 around the country and world to see their shows. He’s 60 years old and recalled the first time he heard a U-2 album, Boy, being played by someone in his dorm. He said it changed his life, but obliviously had no bearing on what he would later do for a professional living. No one who professes a love for U-2, especially the first five albums, can said to be influenced by their music in any way if they ended up as commissioner of the SEC. But then again, there are Trumpians that follow the Grateful Dead knock-off bands so why not?

What may be the last OSU versus Oregon football game for a long time is in two weeks. I hope OSU trounces them. I might watch that one.

An NFL game in Brazil?

At a family gathering, the subject of football came up and someone asked me why I stopped playing in high school. A broken ankle was chiefly responsible but also it became increasingly harder to take direction seriously from the coaches, some of the most intellectually bereft men I have ever met. I wonder if that’s changed in four decades, especially since football has become so much more sophisticated and fast than the old running off tackle almost every offensive play. Probably not.

I won’t live to see the demise of football fading away as an overpowering popular cultural force, but it will come one day.

September 2, 2024

The Stone Oregon Era

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Oregon Coast_History Stone Oregon, Stoneygonian, Tom McCall

Several years ago at a garage sale, in the midst of my long and ongoing strange stint of researching Oregon history in the1960s/70s, I leafed through a February 25, 1974 edition of the New Yorker. To my astonishment, it contained an article titled, “Letter from Oregon,” written by E. J. Kahn Jr.

A few sentences early in the second paragraph caught my attention: “In the last seven years, they have become accustomed to all sorts of innovative and bizarre goings on. They have laws so progressive that, by comparison, many other states look doddering…the Oregon legislature, which unblinkingly confronts social and environmental issues from which many state (and national) legislators would recoil…”

Some six thousand words later, I had read—while standing at the garage sale—Kahn’s lively first person account of the state’s unprecedented governing initiatives under the leadership of departing Governor Tom McCall, then near the end of his second and final four-year term in office because the state’s constitution prohibited a governor from serving three consecutive terms. Had McCall run for a third term, the fact that many newspapers referred to him as “Tom” in headlines suggested he would have won easily.

McCall called the initiatives, collectively, The Oregon Story, and the national media, including the Washington Post, New York Times, Newsweek, PBS, NBC News and 60 Minutes had paraded to the Pacific Northwest to cover it and profile McCall. He’d even flown to New York to appear on the Today Show to spread the message. Later, McCall’s biographer Brent Walth would tally almost forty national newspaper and magazine articles written in 1974 alone about The Oregon Story. I’d read many of these but Kahn’s lengthy piece was not among them, and totally unknown to me until the discovery at the garage sale.

In the New Yorker article, McCall described The Oregon Story as one of “innovation and regeneration that can actually be used anywhere. We’re trying to export the hope and the formula.”

By 1974, Oregon could boast of many recent political innovations, most of them nationwide firsts: protection of ocean beaches from development, a law dedicating one-percent of highway funds for bicycle and pedestrian paths, a mandatory five-cent deposit on returnable cans and bottles, an effort to clean up the polluted Willamette River, a government open meetings law, visionary land use planning to preserve farm and forestland, a forest practices act, a state-sponsored rock festival to forestall violence, decriminalization of marijuana, penal reform, and a level of voluntary energy conservation promoted by state government that had it been pushed with similar zeal at the federal level for the next decade, would have precluded every act of American violence perpetrated in the Middle East the last twenty-five years.

In effect, these initiatives led Oregon to become within a generation one of the most desirable places to live in the country, if not the entire world.

Kahn quotes McCall: “America is beginning to open up. We’ve got an inherently good system. We’ve just got to get the right people to make it work. If I had to run for President to sell the Oregon message—to encourage more innovative and daring actions, that is—I would do it. But that will depend on a lot of things, and in any event the message is more important than the messenger.”

That message, the Oregon political message heard round the world in 1974, in my youth growing up in Oregon City overlooking the Willamette Falls, I had heard it. It must have imbued me.

After reading “Letter from Oregon,” I suddenly became seized by one of those purely clarifying moments some of us are lucky to experience. It occurred to me: as a forty-something adult residing at the Oregon Coast, I think I live my life reflexively as a direct consequence of The Oregon Story’s message. I think I turned out distinct, special, from a peer who grew up in, say, North Dakota or Nebraska. I feel I live better.

How do I live the message today? I wear a sweater inside the house to save energy. My ex-wife once labeled me the Heat Master in reference to the frigid thermostat setting. I don’t flush after every piss. Wherever they lie, I pick up discarded cans and bottles, redeem them, and pocket the beer money. The notion of buying bottled water repulses me. I bicycle for recreation. I obey the speed limit. I try to conserve Oregon’s natural world. In the last decade, I had a hand in planting nearly 25,000 trees in Oregon’s denuded coastal watersheds. I could care less if people smoke marijuana in my presence. My frequent time romping with my three dogs on Oregon’s publicly owned beaches bears a strong resemblance to a religious practice, as does having sex in broad daylight there. I take a vast array of cultural advantage from logging roads in regenerating forests protected as forests, where in other states trophy homes would dominate. When I read a statement from Tom McCall such as, “I think you’ll all be just as sick as I am if you find (Oregon) is nothing but a hungry hussy, throwing herself at every stinking smokestack that’s offered,” the statement resounds like scripture and I act accordingly upon it.

But that name—The Oregon Story—left me totally unsatisfied. It struck no literary chord. It didn’t ring royal and that era demanded such a quality in a name. Thus, I felt compelled, seemingly moved by a higher spirit, to discover a kingly new name for The Oregon Story, an endeavor not unlike the prophet Samuel who stood ready with a horn of oil to anoint a new King of Israel. If he could find one.

Nothing remotely worthy manifested itself, until one day during my investigation into the legend of a notorious 1970 Oregon rock festival called Vortex I, a rare priceless media artifact from the Tom McCall era surfaced. Actually it was mailed to me, unsolicited.

In the summer of 1971 a twenty-five-cent newsprint magazine called the Stoneygonian landed on the streets of Portland, Salem and Eugene. Its editorial creed announced: “We hold that the divisions set up between young and old, straight and hip, hard hat and long hair, man and woman, and parent and child are based on false premises and therefore no longer exist for us…so be it. Let it be.”

Bill Wickland, formerly of Portland, now of Reedsport, was the founder and editorial impresario of the Stoneygonian. His staff didn’t comment on what divided Oregonians. Instead, “We sat around and smoked on Oregon, and said, ‘Let’s present the positive on what brings people together.’” I know Bill Wickland said this because he told me after I looked him up after learning he was the person who had mailed me a copy of the Stoneygonian after he heard I was writing a book on Vortex I. As I later found out, there are two extant copies of the Stoneygonian. Wickland owns one; I own the other.

As for the origin of the magazine’s title, Wickland wrote in the inaugural issue: “This state is stoney, you can feel it when you cross the border…Oregon gets people stoned. Oregonians are stoney people; the mountains and the valleys and the rivers and the lakes and the streams and the high country and the sand dunes and the ocean and the clean air and the pretty towns get Oregonians high. An Oregonian is anybody who wakes up one morning and digs how lucky he is to be waking up here, and says, ‘That’s it; I am an Oregonian.’ We like that. Hence the name.”

The first issue of the Stoneygonian ran in August of 1971 and the cover leapt out as supremely bizarre because the printer forgot to use black ink. The graphic outcome of the blunder resulted in a faded yellow-submarine tinted photograph of a one-speed bicycle that ended up being an accidental work of gorgeous psychedelic art.

Just some of the magazine’s contents included a photo essay called “Have a nice day,” a full-page poem titled “Sioux Prayer” in the style of William Blake, and a story on Oregon State Penitentiary inmates receiving furloughs to umpire Babe Ruth baseball.

The second issue came out in December and featured the entire groovy forty-five hundred word statement by Governor Tom McCall before the National Commission on Marijuana and Drug Abuse. And then the Stoneygonian folded.

Today, of course, most Americans associate the verb and adjective forms of “stone” with marijuana use. No doubt Wickland had this in mind (and tweaking the Oregonian, the state’s largest newspaper,) when he came up with the name Stoneygonian.

But the word connotes so much more.

After reading the Stoneygonian, I instantly became curious about the word “stone” and consulted the Oxford English Dictionary.

There is “stone” defined as “occasionally as a mere intensive (= very completely)” as in stone asleep, stone cold, stone deaf, stone dumb, stone hard and stone naked. And, of course, there is “stoned” as, “being extremely intoxicated, incapacitated.” However, that definition doesn’t necessarily have to reflect the effect of a drug. Think “Stone Free” by Jimi Hendrix, “Stone Love” by the Supremes and “I Am Stone in Love With You” by the Stylistics.

I mixed those definitions together, let them brew, and played the wordsmith: intensive in its quest for originality. Very completely progressive. A condition that compelled extremely intoxicated citizens and legislators to protect their state and enhance its livability—then and for the future. Residents incapacitated by love of place and faith in an ideal.

My search for a new name to supplant The Oregon Story was over. Call it The Stone Oregon Era. That’s it. I am a stone Oregonian. I like that. Hence the name.

August 28, 2024

Oregon Tavern Age: Hamburger Helper

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Oregon Tavern Age

A female OTA bartender sat at the bar on a Sunday at noon. She ate from a bowl of something.

I sat at a back table with a beer and a notebook wondering why I still patronized this dump. I found myself in a foul mood despite the fact that ten minutes earlier I scored a Django Reinhardt greatest hits CD at Goodwill.

A preseason NFL game aired silently on television. Generic 90s alterna shit rock played loudly on the jukebox.

An OTA woman sitting next to the bartender asked what she was eating.

“Hamburger Helper,” she said.

“I grew up on that.”

The bartender had whipped herself up a little off-the-books lunch because Hamburger Helper wasn’t on the menu in here or anywhere in a dive bar across the USA.

A man played pool by himself and took it seriously.

An OTA man complained to another OTA woman that he hadn’t seen his kids all summer because was working too much. Sure buddy.

An OTA man with a cratered meth face stumbled in from the patio and screamed he’d lost his phone. The bartender had finished her bowl of Hamburger Helper and moved back behind the bar. She informed the man his card didn’t go through. He swore he had $400 in the account. Sure, buddy.

A revelation blasted into my mind: what the fuck am I doing in here?

The destitute OTA man asked an OTA woman to cover his tab. They were acquaintances. No dice. He bent his head and appeared to start crying. Then he began swearing to himself.

I considered paying his tab to put myself out of his misery. Not today buddy.

A woman came up to him and offered to drive him home. She had to get to work (after hitting the sauce all morning) and could drop him off. He declined.

It was time to go and take Elmer on his fourth walk of the day.

August 26, 2024

Oregon Tavern Age: Noon Friday

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Oregon Tavern Age

I’m in urban OTA country but not going to write about OTA because absolutely nothing of story value is going on in here. That seems to happen more and more in OTA country these days. Just admit it! OTA is dead!

There is a kooky tan dog jumping around so at least I have that to entertain me.

I fear this blog is finally coming to an end after more than 7 and a half years and over 1500 posts. There just doesn’t seem to be any inspiration anymore outside of writing about the homeless.

My will to live in the Rose City diminishes daily. My interest in living in the Coos Bay Area increases daily. One day.

Speaking of Coos Bay, the Steve Prefontaine is in the design phase and I am excited to bring it out in the late fall and build some promotional momentum for 2025, the 50th anniversary of his tragic death at the age of 24.

Oregon Humanities rejected my 2500-word essay on the subject of using a watershed restoration model for restoring homeless Oregonians. According to the editor, “It wasn’t the right fit.”

Elmer the husky are now going on our ninth month together. I can hardly believe it. What an astonishingly wonderful addition to my life he turned out to be. He got skunked in the back yard a week ago, a new experience for me as a long-time dog owner. What fun!

Some possible new author clients have emerged. Just when I thought that gig was drying up…

I watched most of the big-name speeches at the DNC and was moved by the oration. It still surprisingly matters in this digital era. The election looms. How is it going to unfold? I expect an October Surprise leaked by the Democrats of some kind to shock everyone.

Football season has arrived! I hope the Oregon Ducks lose every game. I saw a smidgen of an NFL preseason game on TV and a after a receiver dropped a simple sideline catch that wasn’t defended that well by a cornerback, the cornerback jumped up and pounded his chest and huffed and puffed, as if he had defended the pass. This was the second quarter of a preseason game and the receiver dropped the ball. That incident reveals you almost everything wrong about big-time college and professional sports.

I picked up a CD of The Ohio Players 1974 release Skin Tight. I’d heard the hits off it, but not the rest of the record. A masterpiece.

It’s occurred to me a lot lately that we don’t have enough written about what people do for a living. Why does someone own and operate a carpet shop in Reedsport? Questions like that.

Elmer and I are going on a camping trip in late September and I plan to visit what I believe is the last stretch of Oregon Coast beach I haven’t rambled down.

August 21, 2024

Thoughts on Giving Away The Old Crow Book Club to Homeless People

Matt Love NSP Meditations, Writing

Ever since The Old Crow Book Club came out last spring, I have given the book away to random homeless people in the neighborhood if they look like the reading type. Many do look that type.

I always provide a brief introduction to the book’s subject: homelessness in the neighborhood. Then I shell out a couple of bucks and go on my way. Sometimes the author reveals his identity.

The latest incident occurred a couple weeks ago in front of the grocery store on a Saturday afternoon. A young homeless couple with a gray pit bull sat in front of the main entrance with their possessions arranged neatly around them. The man had his arm around the woman. The dog was old and appeared as if he’d see it all.

They were new to the neighborhood. Always new homeless people to the neighborhood. Some stay indefinitely but most migrate through.

The couple had no sign advertising need. They didn’t solicit vocally. I was on my way back from the farmer’s market with a copy of the book stuffed in my back pocket. I do that occasionally. Is that weird? It doesn’t feel weird to me. How else do you distribute a book about homelessness to people who are homeless? You have to be ready at all times.

I presented the book and two bucks. They both thanked me and I saw the woman thumbing pages as I departed.

This sort of exchange frequently conflicts me. Does a homeless person really need a book about homelessness? Typically when encountering people living on the streets who are reading, the genre is fiction and most of it fantasy. That makes sense. Let a novel transport you away from your current reality. The Old Crow Book Club brings you right back.

I never wrote the book with an audience in mind. There was no editorial agenda. I know members of the book club read the book and seemed to enjoy it, but except for Mark, none of the rest of the crew has made it into housing. They currently all are in more dire straits than a year ago.

Sometimes when I give the book away to a homeless person, the act feels pretentious or self important, even a bit condescending. These people don’t need to read this book! They need housing and other services. The book isn’t a guide to secure housing. It’s a guide to how one homeless person can’t secure housing! It doesn’t have a happy ending.

Three homeless people in the neighborhood who read the book, loved it, and told me it was the only book they’ve ever read, are still homeless. Actually, one of them is dead from a fentanyl overdose.

Why did I write this book and distribute it for free via street libraries around Oregon? I don’t know for sure. I just wanted it out to the world, and if helped in some small way to get my friend Mark into housing, and I think it did, then it will be the greatest reward of my literary life and that includes interviewing Portland Trail Blazer legend Maurice Lucas, resurrecting the Vortex I rock festival story, and receiving a fan letter from Julie Newmar for an essay I wrote about her starring as Catwoman in the Batman TV series that I watched in 3D View-Master reels as a kid.

I might also add that much of time I wrote The Old Crow Book Club was from a place of pure joy. That rarely happens anymore with my writing about the homeless.

August 19, 2024

Hey Joe

Matt Love NSP Meditations

“I’d ask you to play something, but don’t have any cash on me,” I said to a homeless man in who looked to me in his 20s.

He strummed an acoustic guitar while sitting on a grate under a massive rhododendron, leaning against a Presbyterian church.

It was 5:30 in the morning and Elmer and I were cruising toward the park. That is, until I heard music, glanced right, stopped, and there the man was, strumming, the guitar perfectly in tune.

Elmer was intrigued with the sound and his reaction prompted me to get my guitar out later and play some songs for my dog, something I inexplicably hadn’t done in the seven months since adopting him.

“You don’t have to pay me anything,” he said.

“I always pay buskers.”

“Well, I’ll play something for you.”

“What are you doing here at 5:30 in the morning?”

“Charging my phone. I’m super stoned.”

I noticed his phone was plugged into an outlet. Most of the churches in the neighborhood had locked up their outdoor power outlets and shut off spigots because apparently homeless people utilized them for survival and that somehow became a nuisance.

But not this church. Amen.

The man stopped strumming and began playing a lead line. It took me all of ten seconds to recognize it as “Hey Joe.”

I shouted “Hey Joe!” and he said “that’s right” and kept on playing. I thought he might start singing but he didn’t, so I did, and utterly shocked myself by belting out the lyrics even though it wasn’t one of the 50 or so rock songs I knew how to play.

Hey, Joe, where you going with that gun in your hand?
Hey, Joe, I said, where you going with that gun in your hand?

Did it feel strange singing along to a Hendrix classic played on guitar by a homeless man under a rhododendron in front of a church with the sun coming up, my husky with me?

For some reason, no.

I stopped singing and asked him his name.

“Cody.”

“Cody, if you’re here tomorrow morning at this time, I’ll have a few bucks for you.”

“Okay,” he said. He never stopped playing.

Elmer and I walked away and I sang “Hey Joe” for three blocks and I sang pretty damn loud:

Hey, Joe, I heard you shot your woman down
You shot her down, now
Hey, Joe, I heard you shot your old lady down
You shot her down to the ground

Someone cozy inside a nice home surely must have heard me through an open window. They probably thought it was some crazy, drug addled homeless man!

The next morning Elmer and I approached the church. It was still dark.

Would Cody the guitar man be there?

My opinion before venturing out? Ninety-nine percent no way. But there was always that long shot of finding that one in the 99.

And that’s why I stashed four bucks in my pocket.

Cody was there, holding the guitar. He wore a Western shirt. His phone was charging.

“Good morning,” I said with considerable enthusiasm. “You remember me from yesterday? I’ve got some cash if you want to play me something.”

“I remember you,” he said.

Cody came out from under the rhododendron with the guitar and sat on a bench. I fished out the dollar bills and handed them over. He said thanks. I sat down on a bench facing him. Elmer sat down on the sidewalk.

“You know, you don’t have to pay me,” he said.

“I always pay buskers and right now you are busking for me.”

“Okay. I’m working on a new song.”

He began strumming. The progression sounded unfamiliar at first, then something possibly recognizable.

“I’m going to try and sing along,” said Cody. He strummed a bit longer and then started singing. It was a weak voice, with definite rough edges.

He stopped singing in 20 seconds after butchering a line.

“What’s the song?” I said.

“North Country Girl.”

“Yeah, by Bob Dylan.”

“Johnny Cash sang it, too. They sang together.”

“The album is Nashville Skyline.”

It was time to go there. This morning felt right. I’d just heard Dylan. Maybe Bob made me go there.

Five minutes later I’d learned:

Cody lived by himself 300 yards away in a wooded area along a creek. Not too long ago, he’d moved to Portland from Klamath Falls where he was building a home. He had two young daughters in Portland who lived with their mother. One of his daughters told him if he didn’t come to the big city and be her in life, she was never talking to him again.

So here he was, homeless, looking for a job every day. He wanted to work as a mechanic. He was good with cars. Yes, he cold probably hold the job living outdoors near a creek. He preferred living outdoors.

I knew where Cody lived. Jacob from the Old Crow Book Club had told me he’d spent a few nights there before establishing his own camp. I mentioned knowing Jacob. Cody acknowledged he and Jacob were friends.

“Hey, are you the guy that wrote that book?” said Cody. “I just found it in a food pantry.”

“Yeah, I’m the guy. I put the book in the pantry.” (Along with cans of lima beans and mandarin oranges.)

It was the same pantry on church property that stood 20 yards from where we now conversed.

“I’m reading the book now, “ said Cody. “I like it a lot.”

“Thanks for reading it. Pass it along.”

I could see light rising in the eastern sky. It was time to go.

Elmer and I stood up.

“I’ve got a request if you’re here tomorrow,” I said. “Something by the Stones.”

“Oh, I know one of their songs,” said Cody and he began playing it but not singing.

I instantly took over vocals and belted it out as Elmer and I headed for the park. Cody kept right on playing.

Under my thumb
The girl who once had me down
Under my thumb
The girl who once pushed me around

It’s down to me
The difference in the clothes she wears
Down to me, the change has come
She’s under my thumb

And ain’t it the truth babe?

«‹ 44 45 46 47›»

Teacher of the Year: A Novella

By Matt Love

A reluctant teacher becomes advisor to a moribund high school newspaper. He meets the new editor, a dynamic 18-year-old senior, and together they begin a unique creative collaboration that revives the publication and slowly slides into gray areas. As the poet Octavio Paz wrote, “To realize itself, love must violate the rules of our world...committed by two stars that break out of the conception of love, which implies breaking away and a catastrophe..."

Teacher of the Year
Amazon's Kindle Edition $6.99

Teacher of the Year unfolds in an energetic mixture of epistle, stream-of-consciousness, narrative and meditations on the craft and alchemy of teaching. There is no other more authentic literary exploration into the agonies and ecstasies of teaching in the annals of American literature than this novella.


A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems

By Matt Love

In perhaps the largest, most eclectic volume of previously unpublished poetry in the history of Pacific Northwest literature, Matt Love presents 148 poems written over a 30-year span.

As he writes in the introduction to A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems, “I have organized this collection into six categories: Ocean, Love, My Life, Oregon Tavern Age, Homelessness, Probation. These poems serve as a substantial but incomplete autobiography.”

“Confessionals, odes, scatological doggerel, polemics, tankas, haiku, prose, psalms, requiems, observations, love letters, lamentations, lyrics, stream of consciousness, meditations, lists, riffs, a eulogy, a sermon, a commencement speech, found poetry, tributes, elegies. I threw it all into an ancient cement mixer and hand cranked that concrete beast while watching blue herons undulate overhead and drinking red wine as the husky snoozed in his dirt fort. The result: A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems, something merging where Charles Bukowski, Richard Hugo, Mary Oliver and Liz Phair blend together.”

None of Love's poems were ever submitted to poetry journals, contests or magazines, making this collection a true renegade project of passion and readable to any denizen of a coastal dive bar.

A Substantial but Incomplete Autobiography in Poems

Print Edition

$21.99 + $4 Shipping


Amazon's Kindle Edition $7.99 (Free if you have Kindle Unlimited)

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